Breaking Up a Relationship Breaking Up a Relationship By Gina Hardy Breaking up is hard. The sudden, aching void that forms when your honey – who you thought was your only soul mate, best friend, lover and life companion – gives you the news that “it’s over” can send you down a very dark road. It can be a period of deep analysis tinged with daily oscillation from loving them to hating them, and yourself; try to gain some control, and get to a better-feeling place within. Despair sets in which triggers wanting them so badly you’ll even get in your car and go find them at some ungodly hour – been there a few times. The agony of a painfully breaking up is almost intellectually indescribable. Your heart and soul feel like they are being ripped from their foundations. The flash flood and continuous waves of feelings that you will never find someone like that again is overwhelming. What will life be like alone again? Will life ever return to a happy place? Your mind sends your bodily functions into overdrive as thoughts tumble forth like a river of terrifying rapids. Losing them feels like dying emotionally. It’s too scary. Why? How? Are they seeing someone else? I thought we were ok! LOSS AND ATTACHMENT Breakups feel like a huge loss – a sudden detachment from the attachment of loving and needing love from another. Your attachment is what causes the pain, not the person breaking up with you. This is fact number one. It’s never about the person who has left you, so chasing them to explain why, or to get closure is often futile. SuzanD Thank you for this.