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Forgiveness and Emotional Digestion

Forgiveness and Emotional Digestion

Part 1

By Riet Okken

Forgiveness is a much-discussed theme. Forgiveness is central in A Course in Miracles and in Christian religion. We speak of forgiveness as long as we believe that guilt exists. But if we assume that there is no guilt, only ignorance and neurosis, is there anything left to forgive? Talking about forgiveness implies that there is guilt.

A personal story.

I found a lot of guilt in myself on my own path of liberation, especially when I started to remember a lot of my previous lives. I do not have much guilt from my current life: I have not been raised as a Christian, and I received a lot of freedom and respect from my parents. A few of my past lives took me years to digest. They were important lives that are central to the life I now live and the work I do. Remembering those lives meant I had difficulty accepting who I once was and what I had done. Even though I tried, I could not forgive myself for a long time. It was about betrayal, abandonment, revenge, and misuse of power.

At issue was my first life on earth, from which my karma on this planet stemmed.

It set a chain of learning experiences in motion, which I remember for the larger part. One of the most important lessons was how to cope with guilt. In my Spark of Light Work in this life, I went through deep processes of remorse. I cried a lot. I could not forgive myself as long as everything was not digested at an emotional level. I prayed for forgiveness but could not receive or accept it. However, by emotionally digesting unfinished things from distant pasts step by step and by getting a clearer picture of the backgrounds and situations, I developed a softness and mildness towards the persons I once was. I slowly started to love the men and women in me, who all had a lot to answer for.

The word forgiveness was not an issue anymore. By learning to feel love for all my personalities, or you could say my whole Self, I discovered that guilt does not exist. There were only undigested emotions and experiences which caused guilt. The guilt dissolved in anger and tears. Where there once was guilt, there is now consciousness and love. Forgiveness and the need to forgive was not something I thought about anymore. It turned out to be a mental category that did not exist in my perception.

And what about forgiving others, you might rightly ask. You forgive together, don’t you? If I take my own experience as starting point, I come to the same conclusion. To the extent that I emotionally digested my unpleasant experiences with other people from my past through expression of anger and tears, I could see the people in question as they were and could view and accept the experiences as part of my learning process to become a wiser and more mature person. I saw my ignorance and struggle and also that of others. After expressing anger and sorrow, there was no reproach or guilt. And so, forgiveness was not necessary. Everything was fine as it was, and everything is fine as it is. Proceeding from my own personal perceptions and discoveries, I look at ideas such as those discussed in A Course in Miracles with amazement. Even though I feel a lot of sympathy for this Christian revival movement, I cannot agree with their ideas or with those in traditional Christianity about forgiveness. I will begin with the latter.

Guilt and forgiveness in Christianity.

As is well-known, the theme of guilt and forgiveness is important within Christianity. Given that forgiveness is an important word and significant to many people, I shall describe the different views that exist and comment on them.

The Our Father and “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us” has a special place in the prayers of Christians. The theme of sacrifice is directly linked to guilt. The other day, both a thought and a question flashed through my mind. I had not allowed them into my consciousness before because of attachment to old thoughts. I realized that, judging by his painful death on the cross, Jesus must have had karma, too. Why should he not have known karma if he is one of us and our brother? He also had to learn and develop.

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Later I read in the very inspiring, channeled books by Ceanne deRohan 3, the following: No matter how much you might want to say that Jesus was perfect, He had guilt mixed with love. The guilt that created His death on earth… It seemed to be a direct answer to my question. At any rate, we can say with certainty that in Christianity love and guilt have been thoroughly mixed together.

Guilt and love have been mixed together, too, with regard to sacrifice. By sacrificing yourself for someone or something, you imply a negative attitude towards yourself. With sacrifice you give up something essential of yourself. With love you do not have to give up anything. You just share your whole being and your abundance, and you do not have to give up anything or miss anything. You do not have to be crucified for love. At a deeper layer, perhaps that was the mistake Jesus made or rather that was his lack of knowledge—otherwise it would not have happened. Perhaps he came to earth because He had something to learn just like the rest of us. In this way, he was and is our brother. Is it conceivable that because of the subconscious guilt he had, and he is not alone in that, guilt and forgiveness have acquired the emphasis that they have had up until now? Of course, his followers are to blame for this, but Jesus might have unknowingly set a trend. That has not done us any good. It is time to set ourselves free from guilt.

It is not effective to go on thinking in terms of guilt and forgiveness. As long as we remain imprisoned in this theme, we will fundamentally stagnate at the level of the will and the reason. Guilt is nothing but a lumping together of emotions: fear, sorrow, and anger. If these emotions come to light and are digested, guilt will disappear. If there is no longer any guilt, there will be no accusations and hence no need for forgiving or being forgiven.

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