By Nadia Khalil Bradley
There is a warmth to us even when we try to hide, all the while begging to be seen. We try to hide who we really are, even as we strive to be open to hearing what others think about us.
The issues of the soul are not easy. People try to hide them in many places but others can still see them. We’re amazed that people try to hide their issues at all when we can see them so clearly. However, we can’t help them by talking subliminally as though it’s not going on. The tricky part is figuring out the things we can say to others that we see as being their issues, without having that person react negatively to being called out on their behavior. The trick is in figuring out how to say the truth so that the person has space to see themselves without being singled out or feeling attacked for how they deal with their insecurities or their pain.
This does not make for a warm fireside chat; it makes for a parting of the seas until the waters can flow together again. We need to accept that the emotional cities that we create within ourselves are a part of us and who we are. Having these discussions while cooking, walking or sitting around a table full of food, seems to be the best bet for these types of discussions.
We think that when we are around others, how we dress ourselves emotionally and physically is how we will be seen. What we say is what they hear and how we say it is how it really is. We “present” the person that we want to be that day, all the while holding our breaths wondering if anyone can “really” see us.
THE THREE WAYS WE HIDE OUR SOULS FROM EACH OTHER ARE:
1. We talk about other people that do what we do as though it were not okay and we judge them in order to distract from ourselves. However, when we do this, we then have to carry the extra burden of hiding that same thing in us so that no one knows that we do it too. We pretend that we are above the very behavior that we want to hide. This is usually due to feeling shame for our actions and beliefs. When others agree with us in our judgments, it reinforces this feeling of shame. We’ve now created a situation to further shame ourselves and attack our own self worth.