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Looking for Mr. Right but Finding Mr. Wrong

Looking for Mr. Right but Finding Mr. Wrong

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Looking for Mr. Right when all you see is Mr. Wrong

By Sophia Elise and Lady Sarah

The elusive search for Mr. Right keeps women on a relationship treadmill. Even when they feel they have located the perfect partner, they realize later that he was not.  Sometimes, instead of kicking Mr. Wrong to the curb, and going out in search of another Mr. Right, they choose to waste their time in an attempt to transform this Mr. Wrong into the Mr. Right they yearn for. Unfortunately, there is no switch to flip, button to push or magic that can be done to turn him into the right guy. Waiting for him to transform himself into Mr. Ideal will not happen either, at least not in this century.

Men are not made of clay and no amount of love, guidance, support or encouragement will shape or mold them into the perfect guy. Mr. Right does not require a lot of molding, working or shaping. He will be Mr. Right right out of the box, requiring minimal effort or fuss. If someone has to fight tooth and nail for months, or years, in an attempt to make someone right for them, he is Mr. Wrong.

He may have been Mr. Right in the beginning but over time managed to become Mr. Wrong. Unlike Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde however, he does not have the magic potion to change back into his fabulous former self. What happened along the way? What bad habits, routines and behaviors changed this man from Mr. Right into Mr. Wrong? Was he attentive in the beginning? Has he become Mr. Aloof?

Not all frogs turn into princes, some will forever remain toads. Mr. Right may not be Mr. Right at the present time, but there may be some potential down the road. Bear in mind that not everyone reaches their true potential. Mr. ‘Not Right Now But Possible’ may never reach his potential in the relationship, even if he is being given all the love, time, patience and energy in the world. If he is Mr. ‘Work in Progress’, but no progress is being made, it is time to consider pulling the plug on this project once and for all.



A woman who finds Mr. Right will quickly realize they are both on the same page. Mr. Wrong can’t even read the book. Mr. Right will reveal that he is looking for a real relationship and when the opportunity presents itself, he will take it. Mr. Wrong is not willing to call someone a girlfriend, much less pursue a relationship. As a matter of fact, he find every excuse in the world not to.

Mr. Right knows who he is and what he wants. He has the courage and determination to pursue his dreams and desires especially when it comes to love. Mr. Wrong does not know what he wants and sabotages any relationship that has one iota of potential. Mr. Right remains consistent. Mr. Wrong gets confused, changing his mind, as well as his feelings, as often as his underpants. His romantic partner stays in a constant state of confusion concerning the status of their relationship.

Mr. Right puts his romantic partner first, making time to spend with her, allowing her to see she is an important part of his life. Mr. Wrong puts himself first, using his free time for himself, his friends and family. He is always too busy for his romantic partner.

Mr. Right wants to see how this new relationship can develop. Mr. Wrong carries the baggage from past relationships, and is too focused on his past to see a future with anyone new. Mr. Wrong uses his past relationships to create excuses for his present behavior. Mr. Right wants to compromise and is willing to do his part to make a relationship work.

Mr. Wrong is still hung up on an ex. When the ex causes problems in a relationship, Mr. Right will set her straight. Mr. Wrong will often let his ex, or the memory of her, create chaos, confusion and drama.

Mr. Right is single, Mr. Wrong is not. He can’t be Mr. Right if he is already in a relationship. If he professes that he will be single down the road, he is still not Mr. Right, and there is something wrong with the relationship, until he is single.



Mr. Right treats his romantic partner with respect. He will plan a date, taking her somewhere he hopes she will like, and pay for it. Mr. Wrong will ask her to hang out, probably last minute and it won’t be anywhere in public. He just wants to go somewhere to have sex. Mr. Right wants to date. Mr. Wrong  wants a booty call.

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Mr. Right is focused on getting to know someone to see if a relationship could develop. Mr. Wrong doesn’t want a relationship, he just wants sex, with no strings. Mr. Right will call between dates to touch base and say hello. Mr. Wrong will only communicate at the last minute, when he wants to drop by, for sex.

Mr. Right shows he cares with words and actions. Mr. Wrong sends mixed signals. Mr. Right makes someone feel important when they are with him, and even when they are not. Mr. Wrong makes someone feel forgotten, taken for granted and unimportant. Mr. Right will tell his romantic partner he loves her, when the time is right. Mr. Wrong will just grunt.

Mr. Right is dependable, but Mr. Wrong is a flake. Mr. Right is there when he is needed while Mr. Wrong is nowhere to be found. Mr. Right keeps his romantic partner informed, while Mr. Wrong tells her to check his facebook status. Mr. Right is there when he is needed, yet Mr. Wrong lets his girl know she is bothering him.

A woman can love a guy like crazy, but if he is mistreating her in this present moment, he is not Mr. Right, right now! He is Mr. Wrong. If things don’t change, he needs to be given the boot. If he can be transformed into Mr. Right, it needs to be addressed, right now. If he is not willing to change, it doesn’t matter if he was Mr. Right in the past. If he is presently not right, it is time to bail. It’s far better to put time and effort into a relationship with Mr. Right, than to beat your head against the wall, one moment longer, with Mr. Wrong.

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