Relationships Under the Microscope
“If I look at this will I want to leave him?”
“When I change will I not want him anymore?”
“Is this the best there is?”
By Joyce Jackson
When we look at making some deep, personal changes, fear of the unknown can kick in and stop us in our tracks. That sense of far is heightened with the possibility of losing someone significant in your life. We all experience times when various influences cause us to look inward, focusing us to look at how well things work, things that do not work, and finishing up unfinished business. This includes our closest relationships.
Looking at things with great scrutiny does not necessarily mean we must cast them aside or leave them behind. Just because we put our relationships under the microscope at times, does not mean we have to rip them off painfully, like a band-aid, in order to improve our life because we come face-to-face with any shortcomings.
Culturally, we think change is the “Just do it!” drastic mantra of super-athletes. We think it means releasing everything in our lives including people, places and things; ejecting them down a garbage shoot so we can improve our lives. We think growth is taking someone, realizing how they do not treat us well, and tossing them away like yesterday’s news. Nothing could be further from the truth. We fear being alone, and we anticipate, negatively, the feeling of abandonment. Unsure of what the future may bring, we shut down our processes of internal evaluation.
Stop it.
Just because we scrutinize all facets of a relationship, good, bad, and those you wish were different, does not mean we have to leave it all behind. It just means we have the courage to look at all facets of it. We may not always have to take action; but it is good, sometimes, to question ourselves deeply.
What is working?
What is not working?
How would you like that to change?
The deepest scrutiny is often misplaced. We ask, “What do they need to change?” “Will they change?” also stops us in our tracks. The answer is usually, “No!” The real question we need to ask ourselves is, “What do I need to change in myself in order to have them in my life?”
When we ask this question, we can truly evaluate our relationship under a microscope and reveal the truth ourselves. They are not going to change. What to do we need to change within, in order to continue to have them in our life, warts, pimples and all? What are the fears they are mirroring inside of us that we can assess and release in order to have a better, deeper relationship with that person, as they truly are?
Once we begin to frame the questions and apply the scrutiny completely onto ourselves, we can be amazed at the courage to investigate deeply, to the energetic level, what we need in a relationship. We do not have to let the other person go because we are disgruntled.
Perhaps, a part of us does need to let go, in order to have a healthier relationship! Times of deep introspection and retrospection are a perfect time to clean our own cobwebs out. The results will be surprising!
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About the Author
Joyce Jackson is a renowned psychic, Huna Shaman, Reiki Master, intuitive expert, and the founder of Inner Strength Illuminations. As The Sane Psychic, Joyce provides calm insights into unclear emotions. Joyce travels the globe bringing an easy, simple clarity to life and spiritual nature. She delivers compassion and warmth with her ability to inspire real understanding and transformation in individuals confused by their spiritual nature and life journey. She can also be found on Facebook.
