When the BIG Dream Doesn’t Fit You Anymore

When the BIG Dream Doesn’t Fit You Anymore (Or How to Get Ready for a Miracle)

Hi there, my Sweet Wondrous Spark of the Divine. I am going to ask you a question.

Think carefully about it.

For some of you, the answer will come easy.

Does the BIG Dream you’ve wished for, affirmed about, begged for, worked your butt off for, plastered your journal with thoughts about, prayed for, and created countless vision boards to support its manifestation still fit you?

Let me put it another way. Assuming you’re the kind of person who believes in personal development and spiritual growth, and has likely put quite a bit of effort into it already, do you believe you are the very same person today who you were when you began this quest to have it all?

In my video this week, I answered a reading request for someone like the many people these days who are finding themselves unmoored not just from the aspects of their lives (inside and out) that don’t work, but also from the dreams they thought they wanted, are finding now, or have already manifested.

I think it’s because once we set course, many of us doggedly pursue the “thing” we want without checking in with ourselves. Even the sense of anticipation and adrenaline of the ups and downs of ambition is a kind of certainty. Kind of like this:

If I know I have this dream, this pursuit, then that too becomes a fabric of my reality, even though sometimes I lose the memory of why I thought it was important to achieve.

Does that make sense to you?

We pursue our dreams because of what we think they will mean to us when we get them. Perhaps we’re just unaware of why we want these things, these opportunities, and these new improved identities. But my point is so many of us are getting that life we thought we wanted, the one that we would one day be happy with, and are finding that it may squeeze us just a teeny tiny bit because we have outgrown it, or the FORM of it.

This is important.

The essence of the “why” is greater than the form.

I spent from my teens until the age of 42 pursuing my dream of becoming a recording artist on a major label. I wanted to be a singer songwriter more than anything in the world. It was the source of my greatest pain and joy, and as hindsight is 20/20, I was looking to that career not to be a prolific musician and work on my skills to share with others, but also to somehow alter my inner life. If I got my dream, I would be released from my nameless shame; I would be without the sense that I was not enough, and it would make me acceptable, loved, and approved of. It took many years of failure, finally giving up and then magically observing everything falling into place when I was 40 for me to find everything I thought I wanted.

I had grown since then. I had become a different person with a life already transformed by the personal growth I had committed to. My self-acceptance had to come by peeling away the layers of fear, doubt, shame, envy, denial, ideas I was a victim, etc. (I’m still peeling, by the way.) Back then, although it was still new, all the healing had changed me. I was not the person who needed the music career to define my worth.

I was so happy and so terrified at the same time. I found that I actually couldn’t handle it; my sober lifestyle and my success as an intuitive were the roadblocks, and I had to walk away. It was so clear to me that while I proved to myself I was talented, the business of music was not going to work for me. I had to give up the dream and all the energy I put into it. The form no longer served me. The essence, however, didn’t die – it was just re-purposed.

The best is now I am back doing music for the right reasons. You hear me sing at the end of my videos. I do it for the joy of it now. I love it, and I am no longer shackled by the need for it to be a business. I am proud of what I accomplished, don’t get me wrong, but my authentic service evolved when I understood that what would make me feel good, feel right, feel at peace, feel proud is something altogether different and not contingent on the form I thought was the prize.

The point is that the form is not as important as the essence.

Many of the people I talk to are sharing similar stories of abruptly waking up to look at the value they’ve placed on their goals and aspirations. What is the currency that is exchanged for this? All that energy we spend.

The question to ask now?

“What is the essence I want to resonate with and be in alignment with?”

If you’re confused and unsure now that you got or are getting what you want, and it doesn’t fit you anymore, it’s okay to let go. Allow the form to change. Choose the unknown.

You will be so amazed that you chose to jump into a new version of yourself.

HERE COMES THE MIRACLE – would be nice if we all got that part… might assuage our terror of the unknown, yes?

Be gentle and honor your experience. We’re all looking at what sustains us these days. What is the material manifestation of our joy, our service, our comfort, and our identities?

Can we be comfortable inside ourselves while the outer changes?

Can we be compassionate with ourselves when we feel afraid or angry?

Some of you are having a different experience and may be noticing that your dreams have been refined over time as you became aware of your new self. And you are now stepping into a greater sense of personal power, responsibility, creativity and humility than ever before.

WOW it FITS!! HOLY MOLY.

You are now the Light-Bearers for others, the Way-Showers.

Have courage. Shine your light, allow the imperfections of your humanity to be the comedy, your vulnerability to be your strength, and your honesty to be your inspired connection to Source. Just do it. It’s our time now.

I don’t think I have ever been more clear about who I am and why I am here, and completely sure of my purpose. You guys who have followed me since the accident last year have seen all the layers come off as I changed. It was scary for me, too!

And, I also know that just as I get comfortable, I might be pushed to change again…but my core, the essence of my service, is finally grounded.

You can do it too.

I believe in you.

It’s okay if you’re facing all this now. And no, it’s not going to be black or white.

It’s important to honor the tension of opposites. So my special one, we are in this together. You and me. You and me and the tribe, you and me and the world.

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