Dissolve Fear And Write a New Story
We grow up on stories and are comforted by the simple arc of a narrative that has a beginning, middle, and end. We love a great story of triumph over tragedy, local-boy-makes-good, or fall from grace and redemption. Many stories are of initiation: journeying into the dark of the unknown and emerging into the light. Our stories may be archetypal, with simple plots we all recognize. When we are watching a movie and all seems lost for the main character, we eagerly await the plot twists that will cause him to learn and grow and regain what he lost and even more. When we are watching a friend struggle with a job loss or divorce, we hope it will have a happy ending. If we’re dissatisfied, unhappy, or lost, we want to believe we’re simply at the point in the story before everything turns around. However, for the story to take a positive direction, we may have to make changes—even if we’re afraid to do so. The narrative can be turned around if we let go of fear of the unknown and step into the role of storyteller who has the power to change the plot line.
Changing your story begins with the awareness that your current story isn’t working for you. This realization must not lead to paralysis, however. You want to be able to step back and remain in a state of curiosity and optimism as you look at what your story has been up to this point. Let go of the paralysis and fear that comes from observing what is happening and the need for it to change. With your eyes open but unclouded by fear, it will be easier for you to recognize which patterns are no longer serving you. You’ll start to see threads that can become woven into a new and more satisfying story. The problem may give way to the solution—or even multiple solutions.
When I was growing up in the postwar era, I expected that I would find a career and stick with it my whole life until the day I retired, because that’s the story I knew. Nowadays, people typically change jobs every five to seven years. I came to have several careers that overlapped each other. Those who are still living according to the old story of how a career unfolds may become paralyzed with fear upon losing a job. Those who grew up with a different story may be hurt and upset by a job loss, but more resilient because of their expectation that they will emerge into a new situation. They simply expect the plot twist to take them to the next stage in their career. Fear doesn’t keep them stuck in the part of the plot where all is lost.
MEME
If you’ve had change forced upon you for any reason, or are realizing that change is inevitable, or your old story is not working for you, it’s time to consider writing a new story. You may not have confidence in your ability to imagine a new story that’s even more rewarding and to begin to live according to that better narrative. By consciously choosing to let go of fear and enter the unknown, you can start the process of changing your story and changing your life. You don’t have to live according to the old narrative—or get stuck feeling uncertain of what to do next or where you are going. You don’t have to remain in a situation that’s making you unhappy just because you’re afraid of making a change.
To overcome your fear of change, you can encounter your fear symbolically through a dialogue, which will allow you to learn from it and dissolve or release it. Set the intention to dialogue with your fear. Close your eyes, reduce your mental activity by focusing on your breathing, and continue to do so. Pay attention to any symbol that arises in your mind. The symbol is probably related to your fear, or it is your fear itself. Ask it, “What do I need to know?” Wait for the answer. Then ask, “What do I need to do to release my fear?” Follow the symbol’s instructions. Imagine that the symbol is starting to dissolve in front of you. Feel your confidence and faith growing each time you inhale, and the symbol growing dimmer and weaker each time you exhale. Thank the symbol for appearing to you. When you’re finished, journal about the experience. If you hear nothing when you ask questions of the symbol, or you get the message that you’re not ready for the answer, simply thank the symbol for appearing to you and complete the exercise.
Allowing the symbol in this exercise to fade or dissolve will help you release your fear. As you think about the exercise afterward, consider these questions:
What did you learn about your fear?
What do you need to do right now to prevent fear from keeping you stuck in your old story?
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About the Author
Carl Greer, Ph.D., PsyD, is a practicing clinical psychologist, Jungian analyst and shamanic practitioner and the author of the multiple-award-winning books Change Your Story, Change Your Life and Change the Story of Your Health. He teaches at the C.G. Jung Institute of Chicago and is on staff at the Replogle Center for Counseling and Well-Being. Learn more at www.CarlGreer.com
