7 Secrets of Deep Listening to Transform your Life
by Ward Serrill
After touch, the sense of listening is the next to develop in the womb. Sounds of the inner ocean merge with muffled sounds outside, perhaps our mother singing. As fetuses we develop full body listening awareness.
As children, we soon learn to constrict the scope of our listening to the most overt things in front of us, such as being talked to. As we grow up and our busy, stressed or noisy adult life begin to intrude upon us we continue to narrow our ears to keep from being overwhelmed.
In a calamitous environment it is a good survival skill to filter what enters our ears. But we also dampen our capacity to hear the hidden secrets of life, vibrating and speaking to us always. More tragically, we become less skillful in listening to others and to ourselves. The result is a disconnected life, a body worn by stress and a mind scampering to keep control.
What can we learn by tuning in more deeply to the world around and within us? Following are seven secrets to develop Deep Listening that can relax us, increase our creativity and promote more peace and harmony in our lives.
1. Listen to Place
Start with where you are right now. Are there office, home or cafe sounds you have blocked out while reading or concentrating? Is the refrigerator humming? Are there children outside playing? Small snores from your sleeping dog? Instead of tuning all this out, pick one of these sounds most pleasing to you, say the children playing, and listen with focused attention to the squeals and hollers. Concentrate on the sound and breathe. Do this for at least 60 seconds. The more you can focus on one sound amidst the encyclopedia of sounds around you, the more your heart rate, blood pressure and stress level will settle down.
2. Listen to Others
Most of our time we spend using our ears to hear what others are saying to us. But how much are we listening to them? Are you thinking about your response while another is talking? Fact is, you can only focus on one thing at a time. If you are focused on responding to someone who is talking, you are not listening to them. The first and most important secret of Deep Listening is: slow down. Give more time to listen to someone. Listen to the quality of their voice. Is it resonant, high, low, methodical or rhythmical? Listen to the feelings behind the words.
I don’t care what kind of relationship you are in, Deep Listening will improve it.
3. Listen to your Dog
Yes. Listen to your dog (or your cat). I don’t mean listening to them telling you they are hungry or want to go outside (which is nearly always), but listening to them listening to the world around them. Watch them listening; dogs will often position their ears toward the sound. Turn toward the same sound, listen with your whole body, and notice yourself relaxing. Breathe.
4. Listen to Water
There is nothing more universally calming or attractive than the sound of moving water. Two of my favorites are river listening and ocean listening. While listening to water you might think at first that it is all one sound. But if you focus and listen deeply you will find pockets of sound, spaces within the rushing: pauses, gurgling, back flushes, plops, sprays or hushes. Move into the river or ocean sound. Listen in stereo. What sounds are on the left, which are on the right? Close your eyes and listen to the flow move from one side of your brain to the other. Breathe.
5. Listen to Birds
Wherever you are there are often birds. Even in cities, you may find an abundance. Crows, pigeons, seagulls or the many variety of songbird that might frequent your neighborhood. Listen to each voice independently. Listen to it deeply, appreciate its tone, rhythm or melodic song, or the banter with its fellow birds. Oh, and breathe while listening.
6. Listen to Crickets and Frogs
One of the great pleasures is listening to crickets and frogs. Robbed of sight by the night, you can tune in to the chorus of sounds made by these creatures more profoundly. Once in the small village of Yelapa, south of Puerto Vallarta, I listened to the jungle alive in cricket speak. At first, it seemed like one continuous wave of sound. But the more I focused into the cacophony, I began to discern a host of differentiation: pops, whirs, clicks, buzzes and pings. It was a huge cricket improvisational jazz band! Begin to discern the voice of one specific cricket or frog. Breathe.
7. Listen to Yourself
You cannot focus deeply on any sound and think at the same time. Try it. You will either be thinking or you will be listening deeply. If you are obsessing about anything, focus on a sound, the sound of your feet walking, the sound of your breath or the chattering of a squirrel and you will create a space where obsessive thoughts cannot enter.
If you do any of the above seven practices of listening you will notice a few things. First, you may find a subtle relaxation entering the body. Second, your mind will calm down. Third, by increasing your ability to focus on any sound most pleasing to you in your environment, you will enhance the moment you are in. The more you practice deep listening, the more you will naturally fall into a more receptive and silent place. As you listen with relaxed but focused attention you will access a place inside you that exists in a state of stillness.
Beneath the bustle and stress, this listening place is always available to you. Tune into it, even for a moment. It holds the secret to overcoming boredom, creating a healthier engagement with your world and entering a more receptive state of being, which can offer you spiritual and creative insights and resolution from problems. Breathe and listen. Breathe and listen. It will transform your life.
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About the Author
Ward Serrill is the producer and director of the newly released film Song of the New Earth. (www.songofthenewearth.com) Ward’s last feature documentary, The Heart of the Game, was released nationally by Miramax Films. It won best documentary at Portland? and Maui International Film Festivals. The film won high praise across the country from the likes of Jay Leno, Ebert and Roeper (“an Oscar level piece of work”), People Magazine, USA Today, O Magazine and Rolling Stone. He has written, directed or produced over 90 short films for progressive causes. He conceived and was Executive Producer for Wild America, narrated by Sissy Spacek. He co-directed and produced Building One House, narrated by Robert Redford, which was instrumental in the film’s central character winning Oprah Winfrey’s Use Your Life Award. Serrill’s film Esther Shea: The Bear Stands Up,about a leading Alaskan Tlingit elder, was broadcast nationally on PBS stations. As president of Woody Creek Pictures, Ward is currently working on two other documentaries; Catching Fire about inventor Peter Scott and his quest to save lives and forests in Africa with a simple cook stove and Prison Mom’s for CNN.
