Are You Stabbing Yourself with Your Thoughts?
by Master DDnard
At a meditation retreat, we practiced observing ourselves through every step of our day; standing, walking, sitting, lying down, eating, drinking, thinking, and meditating.
I thought…I could do that – just observe my thoughts and feelings…observe myself…sense bodily movement, as well as, movement within my mind.
But it wasn’t easy. My mind kept reaching out; thoughts jumped here and there, losing track of the body and mind movements. The faces of the people who took advantage of my family’s financial problem were right in front of me. Instead of focusing on the movement of my feet as the stepped forward, my mind was occupied with invoking terrible curses and those people imagining that the practice of meditation could make my curse on them come true.
With that thought, a smile stretched across my face.
An instructor noticed. She came and whispered to me, “When you are in the now, everything comes to an end, one moment at a time…one moment at a time.”
I continued walking and that instant the wisdom light shone through my mind.
The moment my foot was about to touch the ground, my mind flashed to the person who took my company. At once, my awareness caught that thought, and when you catch your mind wandering, it stops. The picture of those people and what they did just disappeared.
I then knew that everything had passed! The things that have happened in our lives, the joys and the sorrows, the pain and the pleasure, people who said bad things and did bad things to us-they all occurred and ended, a long time ago! But I myself right then and there would not let them end. I would not lay them down or let them go. In my thoughts, I was bringing terrible scenes back to life again and again. Inside my head, everything came alive again.
Words that cut through our hearts and actions that caused us pain ended a long time ago. But we, nonetheless, relive and re-experience those words, actions, and situations, weeks, months, and even years later.
It’s as if someone has stabbed us once, or more accurately, has placed beside us a knife of their unkind words and actions. Then we help them hurt us, by causing our own pain.
Driving their words to pierce our hearts through our thoughts again and again.
We help them succeed in putting us in pain. No one can actually cause us pain. They can create the situations, but the pain, the suffering inside, we accomplishes it on our own.
Of course we’ll find it is not easy to control ourselves and to stop the habit of picking up hurtful thoughts and memories that pierce our well-being.
If we cannot even control ourselves to do and be how we want, how do we expect to control others to do, say, and be? The way we want them to be.
We hope for others to respond in a certain way, or for events To happen as we’d like, but how could that be possible if we can’t even control us?
People will do things the way they want to do them. We Just don’t have to let them succeed in making us unhappy.
I put my knife down.
It is we alone who are capable of doing it. We bring the pain to our hearts by bringing the thoughts to our mind.
In our thoughts, we grab that knife and continually stab ourselves with those words and actions.
When we live in the now, we observe ourselves in this present moment, and we may think about the past or the future but the difference is that we acknowledge that we are thinking. We see how we pick up a knife of a painful thought and thrust it deep into our being. Other people may stab us once, but we stab ourselves again and again. Our suffering begins in our own mind and we can end it here, too.
Click HERE to Connect with your Daily Horoscope!
About the Author
Master DDnard (aka Dhitinart Napattalung) is a graduate from University of London with two master degrees. (M.S. in Economics and MBA). At the early age of 25 she started her own diamond business and by the age of 27 she lost her husband and was left with her eleven-month old baby and a $3 million debt. Her hardships inspired her to dive into the practice of mindfulness meditation and eventually she was able to pay off all her debt in 2 years. Her profound transformation led to her international bestselling book The Compass of Now, which has sold more than 1.4 million copies in her native country–Thailand. Master DDnard is a licensed Master Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and a licensed Hypnosis Master Trainer of the National Guild of Hypnotists (NGH), the largest and oldest hypnotherapy organization in the world. Retired from diamond business, she has spent the past 16 years, teaching mindfulness and Mind management. As a renowned Thai spiritual teacher and author, she heals wounds, dries tears, brings families back together, puts smiles back on people faces and inspires strength in their hearts. Her charity work has inspired millions to be financially and emotionally free. www.compassofnow.com
