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7 Tips To Survive Being Single On Valentine’s Day

7 Tips To Survive Being Single On Valentine’s Day

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It can tough to being single, especially on Valentine’s Day.

How To Being Single On Valentine’s Day

This tendency to compare ourselves negatively can have a major impact on our self-esteem when holidays come around.

The other day, my hairdresser mentioned to me that he’s not looking forward to February. The reason was that as Valentine’s Day approaches, many of his single female customers are, in his words, “totally freaking out” about not having a date for the night.

My hairdresser works in a nice salon. Most of his clients are attractive, successful women. A lot of the single ones, it seems, are having a hard time coping with being unattached on the one day of the year devoted to love.

It reminds me a bit of New Year’s Eve, in which many of us put a huge amount of pressure on ourselves to have the most exciting celebrations with the largest group of friends. In both cases, I think that we’re trying too hard to prove something to ourselves or to the other people in our lives, and that can never end well.

A recent study from Sebastian Deri, a Cornell University, psychology Ph.D. candidate, demonstrated that although we usually consider ourselves superior in most categories, when it comes to our relationships, we assume that were less successful than the other people in our lives.

This tendency to compare ourselves negatively can have a major impact on our self-esteem when holidays come around, especially on Valentine’s Day.

We imagine that everyone else is in a loving, committed relationship, or at least that they’re out there, having a ton of fun dating, while we’re alone in front of the TV in our fuzzy slippers plowing through a tub of Haagen Dazs.

The single women at my hairdressers must be mortified they’re the “only one” in their social circle who’s “a failure” at finding a mate. But that’s not really the case.

You’re not single because of any inadequacies or shortcomings within you.

Sure, it’s great to meet that special someone and have their love and support day in and day out, but that isn’t always possible, especially in this age of increasing isolation and alienation.

These days, a lot of us might be spending more of our time unattached than in a committed relationship, and for those people who find themselves alone on Valentine’s Day, I offer up a few suggestions.

 

Being Single Tip #1 – Being single is not a disease

It doesn’t help if you put yourself down for not having a date on this night. You’re not a “loser” or a “failure” if you haven’t found love.

 

You’re not single because of any inadequacies or shortcomings within you. Often, finding that special someone is just the luck of the draw. Instead of beating yourself up for being unattached, try to put things in perspective. Think about all the good things you have in your life and be grateful for those.

 

Being Single Tip #2 – There’s no substitute for self-love

When you nurture yourself, you feel fulfilled. Sure, you might still want a partner, but at least you won’t feel like you desperately need one. And, when you’re filled with self-love, you’ll be walking around feeling complete.

With self-love, you won’t feel the burning need for someone else to compensate for the lack of love in your life. If you do meet someone, your relationship will be based on caring and sharing, rather than needing the other person to fill a void inside you.

 

Being Single Tip #3 – Being desperate always backfires

Desperation makes you jump at the first person you see, rather than waiting for the right person to come along. Love, even a real connection, isn’t something you can force.

You may or may not someday find the love of your life, but it won’t happen by trying too hard. Live your best life and be your best self and if the person of your dreams is out there, they may very well find you.

 

Being Single Tip #4 – Say no to self-pity, yes to being proactive

You don’t have to be desperate, but you can make yourself more available. Get out there and join a club, take a class or connect with a social group.



Participate in sports or community activities. Get involved with things that you feel passionate about, and over time, you’re likely to make some new friends; maybe even meet someone nice.

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Being Single Tip #5 – Meanwhile, feed your soul

Get out into nature and communicate with the universe. Take part in spiritual or religious services. Meditate, do yoga, practice mindfulness. Any of these will help you to feel happy and fulfilled, whether or not you find love by Valentine’s Day.

 

Being Single Tip #6 – Rediscover the artist within you

We were all creative as kids; it’s just that some of us forgot how great it is to create. Doing art of any type is going to be incredibly uplifting and meaningful. Art is something that you can do just for yourself.

Being creative is empowering because doing art makes you happy. And, if you gain some mastery, other people will likely want to write, dance or play music with you. Creative collaborations may or may not lead to love, but they’re fantastically fun.

 

Being Single Tip #7 – Value your friends and family

You have people in your life, right now, who love and accept you unconditionally, and who’ll be there for you whenever you need them.

 

You may not have a romantic partner, but you do have love in your life. Be grateful for these relationships and put energy into keeping them strong, and you’ll feel a lot less lonely on Valentine’s Day.

Giving love fills you with love Being a kind, caring, the generous person will bring you fulfillment and a deeper sense of connection with others. Altruism is extremely rewarding.

 

You will also enjoy A Different Kind of Valentines

About the Author

Marcia Sirota MD FRCP(C) is a board-certified psychiatrist, that does not ascribe to any one theoretical school. Rather, she has integrated her education and life experiences into a unique approach to the practice of psychotherapy. She considers herself a realist with a healthy measure of optimism. Sign up here for her free monthly wellness newsletter.


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