Alan Cohen – The Power of Radical Contentment
Alan Cohen is the author of 24 popular inspirational books and CD’s, including the best-selling The Dragon Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, the award-winning A Deep Breath of Life, and the classic Are You as Happy as Your Dog? He is a contributing writer for the New York Times #1 bestselling series Chicken Soup for the Soul, and his books have been translated into 24 foreign languages. His work has been featured on Oprah.com and in USA Today, The Washington Post and 101 Top Experts.
An Interview with Alan Cohen – The Power of Radical Contentment
Even if we tried, it would not be enough space on this edition to enlist all of Alan Cohen’s stellar accomplishments; Alan is a respected keynoter and seminar leader for professional meetings in the fields of personal growth, inspiration, holistic health, human relations, and achievement of work/life balance. He conducts Life Mastery Training around the world, and has served as an instructor of group dynamics at Montclair State College, stood on the faculty of Omega Institute for Holistic Studies, and is a professor at EnTheos Academy for Optimal Living.
He has appeared on national radio and television, including Good Morning shows around the nation, and his seminars have regularly been broadcast via satellite on the Wisdom Channel and on Gaiam TV. Most recently, Alan is a featured presenter in the acclaimed documentary Finding Joe, celebrating the teachings of visionary mythologist Joseph Campell.
Alan Cohen brings a warm blend of wisdom, intimacy, humor, and vision to the path of personal, professional, and spiritual growth. He loves to extract lessons from the practical experiences of daily living, and find beauty in the seemingly mundane. Many readers and seminar participants have reported that his teachings have brought them deep encouragement and empowerment, and inspired them to believe in themselves and achieve new levels of success in their personal and professional lives.
OM Times caught up with Alan and asked him to share his advice and views about several inspirational, self-growth and spiritual topics.
OMTimes: How can I know if the guidance I am feeling is coming from my spirit, rather than ego or fear or past conditioning?
Alan Cohen: When you have a choice before you, try all the alternatives on for size and discover which one feels like it best expresses you. This process is like going to a clothing store and trying on different dresses or suits on front of a mirror. Suddenly you find an item that inspires you to exclaim, “Now this is really me!” The article of clothing matches who you are and makes your cells vibrate with a sense of familiar delight.
The only true measure of success is joy. Take the affirmation, “Joy is my compass,” and for a day or a week or a month or a year or a lifetime, practice making choices on the basis of which alternative brings you the most life force. Where does the deepest “yes!” in you live?
OMTimes: How can I get in touch with my bliss so I can make joy-filled decisions?
Alan Cohen: Tell the impeccable truth about your feelings in every situation. When someone asks you which restaurant you would like to go to, be honest about the choice that would make you happiest. When someone asks you for a date and the thought of going doesn’t feel attractive, say no. (If thinking about something doesn’t feel good, doing it won’t feel better!) When you feel drawn to a movie in the video store, take it home. If you’re watching a video that feels emotionally debilitating, turn it off. Trust the messages your feelings are giving you as feedback on how well your current choice matches your well-being. Living from joy is like building a muscle; the more you trust and act on your intuition, the louder, stronger, and more real it becomes. If you don’t live from your truth, your ability to access it will atrophy, and you will not know who you are, what you want, or what you are doing here.
I met a woman who had lost touch with her truth. She joined me and another friend on a day trip, and when we asked her, “would you like to stop to get something to eat?” or “what do you feel like doing now?” or “are you ready to go home?” she would answer, “if you do,” or “whatever you like,” or a resigned “that’s all right, don’t worry about me.” This dear woman had been married for over forty years to a man who made all the decisions for the family; that was their unspoken agreement. Over those years her ability to be in touch with her truth and speak it, had atrophied to the point where she didn’t really know what she wanted. I found this predicament frightening; though she walked and breathed, she had, in a way, died energetically. Living out someone else’s truth is a denial of our purpose as unique, magnificent, creative souls.
The good news is that we can never totally lose our ability to get in touch with what we know; the voice of God never disappears, even if we choose not to listen to it. We can rediscover it at any moment, and restore our life force quickly by speaking from our heart.
OMTimes: How do I deal with people who try to dissuade me from following my heart? Every time I tell my (boss, mother, partner) about something I feel excited about, they shoot me down.
Alan Cohen: The only person who has the power to shoot you down is yourself. No one outside you can take away your good. No one else can create your experience, and you cannot create the experience of another. You can influence, but not create. Any antagonist reflects the part of you that antagonizes yourself. It is said that “you cannot defeat an enemy who has an outpost in your head.”
Don’t blame such a person; thank him or her. Bless and appreciate those who challenge you, as reflections of the parts of your mind and heart calling to be healed. If someone’s criticism disturbs you, you already agree with them. If you didn’t, their criticism would not even show up in your experience, or if it did, you wouldn’t even hear it or give it a second thought. That fact that they disturbed to you, means that you have already disturbed yourself on that issue; they are pointing to your next step of self-love, acceptance, and healing.
You can look upon someone who annoys you as your best friend, for they help you to grow. There is a story about a man in ancient Greece who paid someone fifty dollars a day to walk around and insult him, so he would become strong in the face of criticism. And you may remember Kato, the Chinese houseboy of the Pink Panther. Kato would jump out of the closet at random moments and assault the Pink Panther with expert karate moves. The Pink Panther hired Kato to keep him on his toes.
One more suggestion: offer your intimate thoughts and feelings only to those who will support you with them. A new vision or inspiration is like an embryo growing in a womb. While it is developing, the embryo requires nurturing and protection from harsh elements. After it has grown and established itself in the world, it is much stronger and resilient and can handle criticism more deftly. In the meantime, find common ground with your mother or boss and communicate only about topics that empower both of you.
OMTimes: What if I follow what I believe is my guidance or joy or intuition, and discover I have made a mistake?
Alan Cohen: Welcome to life on the planet! We learn by doing, risking, stretching, and trying things out. Observe little children learning to walk; not one of them gets up the first time and keeps walking. They fall down plenty, but eventually, they learn. And they have fun in the process. Children do not say, “I fell down six times in a row, now I give up.” Children remind us that the adventure of learning and the thrill of ultimately succeeding are far greater than momentary setbacks. Obstacles are what you see when you take your eye off the goal.
Everything serves. Sometimes the information we gain by making what we judge to be a mistake is so important that we find ourselves in a much better place than we would have been if we had not taken that course ¾ so it is not a mistake at all. A Gallup poll asked people what was the worst thing that ever happened to them. Then they asked the same people what was the best thing that ever happened to them. You can guess the results: the pollsters found that 84% of the people said that the worst thing that ever happened to them turned out to be the best thing!
Click Here to Continue to Page 2 of the Interview with Alan Cohen
