Why Focusing on Your Desires May Be Keeping You from What You Want
by Heather O’Neill
Creating What We Want in Our Lives
We are taught to get clear on our desires. When we work with the laws of the universe to create what we want in our lives, we know how we want to feel when we get them. This helps us become an energetically vibrational match to them. Because when we are an energetic match, we are in a state of allowing them to come into our experience.
Yet sometimes, as when consciously using the Law of Attraction to manifest what we want, we can find that it just doesn’t seem to be working. We are ultra-clear on what we want and just as clear on how we want to feel about it.
Or so we think.
Attachment Can Get in the Way of Our Desires
What we sometimes forget to watch for is our sneaky, wanna-be friend called attachment.
Attachment sidles up to us thinking it’s doing us a favor by keeping us connected to our desires. When in fact that “connection” is a very fine line between knowing what we desire and then wanting it so badly that it changes the vibration of the desire.
A lot of times desire pushes us into lack vibration without us even realizing it. While desire is a great manifestation tool, it must, however, come with very little attachment.
Attachment carries with it a vibration that can throw the energy of what we want off track.
Built into attachment is need, and when we attach a need to our desires that can move us into lack vibration. Because the energy surrounding need is really energy of “I want something really badly that I do not have yet.” Aka lack.
Since like attracts like, if we are in lack vibration we will ultimately attract more lack.
An Example of Desires Clashing with Attachment
Suppose there is a person we may want to attract into our life. This could be a soul mate, a business partner or simply some new tribe mates to have some fun with. We can begin to become acutely aware of their ‘non-presence’ in our lives the more we desire to have them.
And when we’re looking for the experience with those people to fulfill something within us, it turns into a need. And when we are aware of not only the need but also of the fact that it is not being met, our energy wraps itself around the absence of what we want.
So very simply put, our energy is vibrating in that space of absence.
The Universe Responds to Our Energy
And for all the love the universe has for us, it is merely responding to our energy. Not the thoughts in our heads regarding how happy we would be once we have this or that, but what is emanating through our energy when all is said and done.
That is why it is so important to gauge where our energy lies in regards to what we want. And then further to move our energy into our heart center via trust and belief that what we desire will ultimately come to us, although it may not be on our exact timeline.
And when we can move that trust and knowing into our heart center, it leaves little room for neediness and attachment.
Unattachment May Best Help Usher Our Desires
Some coaches do not like the word detachment as it can imply lack of feeling altogether. But rather ‘unattachment’ serves as a better way to conceptualize it.
So, we can say to ourselves, “I would really love to find a new strategic partner for my business.” Then we get clear on the essence of what that person would be like, and further ‘unattach’ from when and how that person will show up in our experience.
When it comes to manifesting our desires, it is up to us to get clear on what it is we want. Then, we are clear on why we want it (the feeling state). Finally, we let that all go (release attachment to it). This allows us to be truly open and in a state of allowing for the universe to take care of the when and the how.
Getting Clear on Our Desires
When we take it upon ourselves to attach to the when and the how our manifestations should arrive and appear, we are setting ourselves up for need and ultimately lack.
There is nothing at all wrong with getting clear on our desires. We can even make them specific if we feel the need to. But we must then release those specifics to the universal forces at work. This enables us to stay open to all the beautiful possibility and the many avenues of delivery there are.
Our work is to use desire to our advantage. Then, remain unattached to those desires to truly receive what we want.
About the Author
Heather is a Certified Law of Attraction Personal Life Coach and Reiki Master Teacher. She works with clients on throwing out their head trash. She teaches how negative and fearful thinking lowers our energy. This attracts unwanted things, people, and experiences into our lives. Heather guides people to live by choice, rather than as a product of our thoughts. She believes our natural state is one of well-being and lights a path to that place for clients and students. Her mission is to be the change, help others with the change and thus change the world. Heatheroneillcoaching.com, facebook.com/LifecoachHeather.
