Authenticity – and then there’s you

Authenticity in Relationships

By Gina Hardy

It occurs to me, after seeing many clients for complementary therapies and indeed on my spiritual travels for the last 10 years, observing many hundreds of people, that the state of our health is dictated by how much we allow ourselves to be authentic. And authenticity is directly linked to our relationships, primarily our love relationship.

We are driven by a need to be loved and approved of, but often in an attempt to be loved people adapt the “self” to be what others want them to be. From caretaker to marriage partner the evolution of the self is largely dependent on the quality of relationships.

Ask someone, are they being who they are meant to be and most people say yes, but then stop to think and say “well I think so” or “not sure” and in many cases a definite “no !”.

Like intricate webs we have weaved relationships with family, friends and partners, identified ourselves with images of changing fashions, cars and gathered ever more things in an attempt to “feel” happy, but how often have we turned on ourselves and shone the mirror within to see whats really going on ? A very scary prospect for many. But it is only here that you can see where the real you resides and indeed the powerhouse of creation of your outer world. “As within, so without”.

Our birthright is to evolve and grow and be truly authentic in an effort to achieve total health, happiness and out there in the world now is an abundance of help to relieve the emotional, mental, spiritual and physical “baggage” we have accumulated. But how many of us can face ourselves and in absolute truth say “I am not who I am meant to be and I want to change it”. A tough decision but the only way I believe, to achieve the ultimate in life’s offerings.

After much suffering and deep introspection I was propelled, without choice, on to a path of “awakening” some 10 years ago. I had health issues, I didn’t like who I had become in relationships with men particularly and I was crumbling in the pace of a fast life. Some people in my world were draining me and generally the vista of my life had many a black spot on it.

My main suffering was, as with many people, a constant fruitless search for the “right person” who I could happily settle down and create the fairytale happy ending with. I morphed endlessly to please “current boyfriend” but didn’t understand why repeat patterns occurred with the same results. A heart breaking end and a never to be healed pain that got harder each time. One thing that I know now was that I was never being who I was meant to be. I was being what boyfriends wanted me to be to feel worthy of love.

Our love relationship is without doubt our truest mirror. Our partners reflect back to us those parts of ourselves that we have disowned throughout life. We search for those missing parts in relationship with others, in jobs and in owning things. Unfortunately these bring temporary highs in happiness.

Ultimately we are searching for wholeness and that can only gained through : 1) Self awareness and seeing ourselves in truth, however we may look at the time 2) Self acceptance through forgiveness 3) Commitment to change those parts of ourselves that cause us pain.

After awakening I embarked on a path of healing and growth using many complementary therapies and then trained over a 4 year period to become a healer and yoga teacher. As I stripped off the layers of past masks, the essence of my true self began to emerge in all its beauty. People, jobs and things that were not right for me fell away as the real me stepped forward. The Universal Law of Attraction demonstrated it’s power in my life and the saying “what you give out you get back” couldn’t be more true. The vista of my life now contains no black spots and I am surrounded by amazing people that reflect the essence of who I really am. My relationship with men is at last healed and in the mirror now I see the real me.

I am committed now to helping people discover themselves and seek inner truth, particularly in their love relationship, because this is where I believe true “self” growth lies. Man and woman are here to create union in love, it’s our Divine calling.