Every Moment is a Choice Point
by Steve Sisgold
The end of the year brings another transition time for us and moves people to action. A friend of mine’s partner suddenly moved to action and left him last week and I found myself saying what I have said to myself and others so often, “No mistakes. (With compassion of course) “You will learn and grow from this transition. Wow, in time, you’ll see why this needed to happen and see that her leaving is divinely orchestrated and a gift, even though now you feel crushed but in time…”
If you are going through any important end of year transitions in your life, may this story inspire you to put your seat belt on and jump into the mystery. Or don’t wear your seat belt at all. Breathe deeply as you take this journey with me.
It is a cold, foggy November morning. I wake up tight and sick, and feel very contracted; like my body is a telephone booth with 12 people crammed inside it. It is the day after my partner told me she wanted to “break up.” My mind starts to spin tales ranging from, “I’m having a heart attack, my life is ruined, I will never meet another woman, I will die alone…” and more. My imagination was having a field day scaring me with one bad scenario after another. All of a sudden, I remember that I am at a choice point, so I take a breath and stop thinking, letting myself off from the hook from scary, disastrous scenarios, I am making up in my mind. I say to myself “In this moment, I have a choice. And I choose to be fully present,” while taking 3 long, deep breaths, tuning in to my body awareness. I sort out what is real and what is not. “Nothing I was thinking is true. I am not having a heart attack. There is no factual evidence that I will never have a relationship again or die alone and my life is far from ruined. I am wasting precious time mesmerized in the illusion. What is factual is that I am scared, my body is tight and I am getting a message that I am at a very big choice point in my life and it is time for me to take control of what I can, and let go of what I can’t, and make some changes in my life.
I sit quietly for awhile and contemplate which changes I could make. I consider the idea of taking some time off to properly rethink my life; the farther away and the more unfamiliar the destination, the better! I am excited as I close my eyes; take a breath, in anticipation of a picture showing me where to go. After a moment, a distinct impression develops. My heartbeat quickens. I see villages, temples, the Ganges River. I take a deep breath and in the next heartbeat I feel a very strong instinct to travel to India.
I choose to drive into San Francisco and visit the Indian Embassy to “feel” it out. I enter the building and am instantly overwhelmed with fear. I forget I am at a choice point, go numb, disconnect from my body, and drive home quickly trying to talk myself out of India. My mind is spinning with fear thoughts again, like “I might get malaria or dysentery. It’s too polluted. I won’t be able to take the poverty. I won’t be safe”. By the time I arrive home, I remember that I am at another choice point. I say my affirmation, breathe and realize that none of what I was thinking about was fact, just mental concerns. I know I can prevent myself from catching diseases and can avoid what I perceive as unsafe or uncomfortable areas. I reassure myself that I will have many choices in India and I will stay conscious of my needs and choose wisely. I return to the Embassy excited and secure my visa. One week and one long plane ride later I am in the middle of a wild street scene in Pune, a town about five hours from Bombay. I notice I am holding my breath and afraid. I close my eyes for one long, deep breath and remind myself once again, I am face to face with another choice point.
I feel very present and alive and my fear dispels as I look around. I see homes made of cardboard, people huddled around fires cooking grain, a wedding procession parading down the street with drummers and candle bearers, bicyclists and scooter drivers dodging and honking at each other, and a man urinating. I’d visited many parts of the world but this was unlike anything I had ever encountered. Life is inside-out: everything is happening on the street, not behind walls. As I watch the people, so at ease in their environment, I imagine I look like a clothed person in a nudist camp. (One more quick spin thought). Taking a deep breath, I start to laugh, and my body relaxes a little, as I remember a cartoon book that I owned as a young boy. The book featured a skinny guy in a turban and loincloth, asking himself in the midst of all sorts of unexpected environments. I remember him in a bullfight, a mob scene and alone on a mountaintop. As a kid, that book had fascinated and impacted me deeply, yet I hadn’t thought about it for over 40 years. Now, I was the one appearing on the next new page. I take a deep breath and take my surroundings in again.
Here I am in India seeking answers and peace of mind. I realize it doesn’t matter what events led me here, I am in India, on my own, here for a big life change! Now I begin fantasizing about where my epiphany might occur. At the Ganges River? In the Himalayan Mountains? In the cave of an ascended master?
Udder Joy
My thoughts suddenly give way as an entire herd of cows amble down the street right through the wedding procession. The cows look relaxed, content, as if they belong. No one but me is phased by their presence. As I watch them I begin to relax and a calm feeling flows through my body. I wonder how my life would be if I were to walk through India – and life – like the cows? They appear at home right now. Do I?
In that moment, I realize, all of my money is on the table. This is a jackpot chance for me to truly live in Choice point mode. Being alone in India is offering me a chance to witness and practice how I move back and forth from trusting. All of a sudden, my journey takes on more meaning. I am in a royal experiment to practice what I preach. I commit to feel everything and accept what is happening in the moment and make conscious choices.
I tune in to the cows some more and notice that they live in their whole, wide bodies, not just in their minds. I laugh, realizing that I have discovered a new philosophy, and call it “cow consciousness!” To flow with life and trust and listen to my instincts, to embrace the moment, with the aid of my ally, guide, and sage – my body. “Cow Consciousness!” The more I say it, the more I like it.
I close my eyes and tune in to my whole body/mind. Peace floods my body deeply. I am still aware of the chaos outside, yet I feel content and serene. The chatter in my mind is gone. I feel vividly present and incredibly alive, because I am now feeling my whole body, head to toe, rather than living out of my head. A quiet miracle has just occurred, my epiphany has happened and I didn’t have to climb up the Himalayas to find a guru in a cave! It was right here in the street, with the cows! I restate my commitment to stay present and walk through India in “Cow Consciousness.” I vow to remain at home in my body no matter where I am. My slogan is “Wherever I go, whatever choice point I face, I have choice!” I notice I feel stronger and more confident each time I say it. The Dalai Lama
The next day India awakens me early with her pungent smells and cackling chickens. I am filled with anticipation as I emerge from my modest room onto the street. I nod and smile and mutter “Namaste” an Indian greeting, to the curious turbaned Sikhs and the children who follow me along an alleyway. As I continue walking, I see a man standing under a sign that says, “Tibetan Medicine.” My mind starts to spin fear thoughts and I remember I am at a choice point. I sense there is nothing to fear but my own thoughts and I walk forward. He gestures to me to follow him. We go up several flights of stairs into a small office. Another man stands as I enter and waves. He says two words, “Dalai Lama.” I shrug and repeat two words, “Dalai Lama?” He nods and says, “Come.” He mounts a scooter, and motions for me to climb on the back. For an instant my mind says “He will kill you and leave you somewhere never to be found”, until I “caught the beat” and tuned in to my body. I was nervous, and realized my mind was making up scary dramas. I relax and choose to ride with him, feeling my excitement growing as we drive through a maze of busy streets into the tree-filled countryside. The smells change, the air cools. We arrive in a large field, where a small circle of colorfully robed Tibetan Monks are gathered. One of the monks looks straight at me as I climb off the scooter and walk toward him. He greets me with laughter and warmth, as if to say, “Nice to see you again.” I am ecstatic; he is the Dalai Lama!
If someone had asked me a week ago, when I was in my mind struggling, if there was anyone I would like to go to, for inspiration and clarity, I would have said “the Dalai Lama” without hesitation. I had come to respect him as one of our greatest living teachers. I knew that he did not live in Pune and I had not even thought of looking for him on this journey. However, by remembering every moment is a choice point, knowing I had choice and by listening to my whole body’s intelligence, not just the fears my mind created, I’d been miraculously led directly to him. I think about all the times my mind’s imagination stopped me from following my instinct and moving forward. I felt incredibly grateful to meet the Dalai Lama this way because I had heard stories about people going to great lengths to meet him and failing.
We are motioned to sit. The Dalai Lama speaks about kindness. He reminds us to have compassion for ourselves and for others, to relax and trust and make conscious choices. His message is a confirmation for me. My heart is soothed and I feel inspired to teach my methods, more than ever.
During my remaining weeks in India, the emotional wounds I have been carrying in my body slowly begin to heal.
Appreciating our body as our sacred guide on the journey of transitions
I returned to California with many gifts of understanding from India. My own experience helped me notice, that all transitions offer choice points and when I don’t trust I disconnect not only from my mind and body, but my spirit and inner wisdom too!
Life is one choice point after another. If you are going through any transition right now, embrace every thing you feel. Stay awake. Listen and feel every sensation in your whole body. What is your body telling you? Now go even deeper into that voice deep within. What do you hear? Take the quantum leap! Follow that voice, It can take you where you want to go, even if you don’t know where that is yet.
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Steve Sisgold has been many things to many people. As an author, speaker, practitioner, singer, film maker and businessman, Steve has taught thousands how to use their innate body intelligence to create better health, prosperity and richer and more authentic relationships.
To connect with Steve, or to learn more about his latest book, What’s Your Body Telling You?, visit: www.whatsyourbodytellingyou.com
