Avoiding the Spiritual Sociopath
Beware the spiritual sociopath!
Learn to Avoid the Spiritual Sociopath
People become involved with spirituality for many reasons. For some, this path is about experiencing a sense of oneness with all living things and discovering inner peace but for others, spirituality is mixed up with unresolved psychological or emotional problems.
Many people who need psychological help for depression, anxiety, personality disorders or addiction turn instead to spirituality for healing. While the pursuit of spirituality can bring comfort and community, it’s not a treatment for such problems.
Spiritual leaders can be the best people or the worst. Many lead out of a sense of altruism and a desire to make things better, but spirituality also attracts sociopaths who pretend to be leaders in order to exploit the emotionally vulnerable.
A sociopath is a remorseless, amoral predator who manipulates those weaker or more innocent in order to benefit from them. Many sociopaths choose a profession which puts them in a position of power over others, in order to have a more legitimate reason to dominate and control.
Individuals who’ve suffered from childhood abuse or neglect are left with lasting trauma. Like many others, they are attracted to spirituality because it offers hope and answers.
While positive spirituality is uplifting, the type of pseudo-spirituality promoted by a sociopathic leader is terribly destructive.
Ideally, those who suffer from emotional or psychological problems should seek professional help in conjunction with their spirituality. This would enable them to benefit most from their spiritual pursuit while helping them to recognize and avoid predators and pretenders.
Genuine spiritual leaders are there to help others; not to profit from them. One way to spot a “spiritual sociopath” is by the way they deal with money. Charging high fees for retreats and workshops or insisting that the follower attend numerous expensive seminars is a sign that profit may be the leader’s true motive.
Genuine spiritual leaders seek to empower their followers. Any leader who fosters extreme dependence among their followers is in reality, just someone who wants to control them. A sincere leader welcomes questions and challenges from their followers; anyone who forbids dissent or punishes it is not sincere.
A true spiritual leader will never ask someone to separate from their family or community, nor give away their material possessions or money. These are requests made only by cult leaders who seek to have control by isolating and disempowering their followers.
True spiritual leaders inspire people to be their best selves; spiritual sociopaths rule with guilt, trickery, and intimidation. The spiritual seeker may want to believe that their leader is loving and good, just as they wanted to believe that their parents were. Sadly, the parent-like sociopath fosters a childlike loyalty in their followers which keeps them in control.
Taking responsibility to really deal with your problems and recognizing that not all spiritual leaders mean well is the first step in avoiding being victimized by a spiritual sociopath.
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About the Author
Marcia Sirota MD FRCP(C) is a board-certified psychiatrist, that does not ascribe to any one theoretical school. Rather, she has integrated her education and life experiences into a unique approach to the practice of psychotherapy. She considers herself a realist with a healthy measure of optimism. Sign up here for her free monthly wellness newsletter.
essentially, if youre really spiritually aware and awake you know its a service to give it away, you dont think about charging money because no matter how awake and aware you are YOU DONT KNOW IT ALL AND WILL ERR. Not placing yourself on a pompous false throne helps you communicate to people that you have a realistic grasp of your own humanity.
Put them in impossible scenarios that they cant remedy and see how many break; my guess would be all.
Spiritual authors, offering a SECRET that’s not a secret at all … sociopathic? Certainly manipulative. So many self-proclaimed spiritual authors along with so-called fitness gurus make me gag. Yet people give them money …
Wish this article had much more meat to it and some examples.
i have certainly met a few people like this…men and women!
If you look up the diagnostic traits of NPD, narcissistic personality disorder, you will find that the new age is programming people to have them all. Need for labels (blue ray, indigo, star child etc); sense of entitlement; desire for unlimited wealth, fame or abundance, disassociation (called splitting, labeling things positive versus negative where negative is seen as wrong and to be disassociated from), extreme self involvement, addictions (to psychics etc), no responsibility (we are taught that everything is okay and to love and accept everything), using others for ones sense of gain (selling spirituality, marketing programs to get unlimited followers, buyers for ones service etc), need for quick-fixes, etc. There is also a great article if you google. Its called “Narcissism and Spiritual Materialism: The New Age Legacy” by Kobutsu Malone. It bluntly describes what we are doing, taking bits and pieces of native, zen and other traditions here and there and turning it into buying, selling, escapism and self-promotion.
the same could be said about some psychologists… never ending pain looping from what I’ve observed…
I’ve noticed the articles on this site tend to be written by people criticizing those who are leaders. That upset comes from ego. Stop trying to tell people that your way is best. You lose credibility.
I’d like to address two things, firstly a poster below mentioned we are taught to accept all things ergo no responsibility, that’s not the purpose of acceptance as I see it; there is a theory we are reincarnated to that which we hate in ourselves or others so that we may reach enlightenment of unity, as long as you are hating or judging then you are not in unity. If we are all akin to particles of god becoming aware of itself through consciousness and it understands itself in terms of unconditional love, then the only way for unity to be coherent is for all particles to exhibit unconditional love and whilst judgement/ non acceptance or worse still hatred is present then unconditional love can not coexist within that particle. an other thing to consider on this vein is this, have you ever sat and complained at length about a problem, I know I have, your constant focus on the issue will escalate in your mind until it begins to become overwhelming to think about, if it becomes overwhelming to think about say something like disease, poverty or famine it’s going to be far less likely that you will act to remedy the situation as in your humanity you will as you are programmed to do avoid it (the whole pleasure/ pain dichotomy).
Secondly regarding money, poverty doesn’t serve spirituality any more than greed and hoarding does, one must have a balanced view if you have more than you can spend then give it away even set up some kind of paid work program or paid skills program ( the payment could be shelter or food, it doesn’t need to be money) that way you are doing doubly “good” by teaching others or allowing others to learn to support themselves where possible. Conversely if you are so impoverished that you have to seek help to meet your basic needs then essentially you will become the burden you are trying to cure. Charging for spiritual services is not wrong becoming extremely wealthy to the point you have more than enough to support yourself and your family or congregation and still seek profit is!
All of religion is a con game. Some all powerful deity for some reason can only speak through other humans rather than directly is suspect. Spirituality is all about collecting accoutrements and trinkets and then giving someone power over you because they can speak to the great spirit. The truth of our existence is painful–that we are really no special thing and we will all die. The universe is not disposed to us with great benevolence or malignancy. It is indifferent. We are but one species among a host of others that has managed to look for ways to lord over and exploit each other for gain. We make our world a hell so we can sell spiritual pipe dreams. Religion at best is a way to keep the poor from killing the rich and taking their gains.
Wow! To sate that this author and OM times is irresponsible here would be an understatement. to not also cite that there are thousands or millions of genuine healers out there misleads people seeking spiritual services.
The Reality of Money – please have some one write an article about that.
please write an article about Why paying for a spiritual service is your duty…
As a four decades long student of the Esoteric arts and varied spiritual practices countless hours of clearing and meditations to become a person that can be a guru just a but further on the path and willing to assist others: just for the sake of brevity I could not go into the numerous whys of how “gross” this article is: please note the oversized bio and the end with the embedded link to the authors “Institute” on “ruthless” compassion wtf ?? which should suffice as to the real intention here: She obviously doesnt live in a city like I do where a bag of groceries of costs upwards of 45 dollars or your electric bill can be close to 200 dollars a month. Simply keeping the lights on is a chore for anyone. Add over four decades of reading countless books and articles and paying for Holistic classes and services to learn from. You are not dealing with the reality of money here. She discounts the millions of True Light workers who in earnest are and have tried to become something quite unlike the Sociopaths that seem to run the world.
She also can not seem to cite the countless hours of true Free spiritual healings we do all the time or the insistence from our friends and nieghbors that we simply give away our time and energy to them – well
“because we have Spiritual gifts so it should be free.”
Perhaps some of these parasitic people who demand FREE spiritual services and constantly usurp our time once agin “just because you were given a spiritual gift” could take the other tack and say
“Id like to pay because you are my friend because Iam sure it took many many hours to become a person that others can be inspired by.”
Shame on OM times for a gross broad generalization which can truly hurt the sincere helpers of humanity.
heres a question: Why are we not allowed to charge for our services why ??
A psychiatrist in NYc makes upwards of over 300 an hour and only pretends to be a healer prescribing meds and keeping people sick and stuck. The spiritual services I provide truly heal my clients – (yes feel free to google me and ask any of my clients for a ref)
frankly how much is it worth to a person to get their Soul Back ??
I do know that a person will only value the service in direct proportion to having exchanged and paid for it – The author has really done alot of dammage here by insisting that some or any of us ture Lightworkers starve or go bankrupt trying to assist others –
I was in eviction court five times while giving my services away and never charging – guess what the landlord still wanted to be paid.He didnt give a damm that I was becoming a Sage or helping people…
Spiritual gifts and True Spiritual Teachers are accrued and obtained over many many lifetimes and if the truth be told many of us chose to incarnate and be in body at this time even though we no longer need to be or even want to be on the material plane in physical form.
OM times you lost me here because you have allowed a very short few paragraphs of sensationalism to cloud a truly convoluted issue for many sincere people who want help and who are trying to give it –
You are further trying to instill that sincere genuine healers are not allow to make a living from their services – a total fallacy that keeps us poor and others demanding we work for free – we shouldnt ever.
A spiritual service is like any other and we have the same bills you do !!
God does not give us all trust funds to draw off it while we heal people — wake up giving us guilt and calling some of us or even drawing the idea that charging money for a Spiritual Service is akin to being a sociopath is really like being a sociopath – it takes no account of the facts — I actually stopped healing people for nearly a decade because I completely depleted myself and resources giving my time away — I couldnt disagree more with this brief and immature article.
OM Times Iam ashamed of you you should yank this article and the parasitic intention of garnering advertising for its author and what shes pedaling.
Yes there are a few cult like figures who inspire others to join their Ego parade and pay hundreds or thousands of dollars just to be next to them true but dont hurt the rest of us by leading with some really truncated version of the truth and the lies…
Personally I have logged and loaded in close to 400 hours a free internet programming dedicated to others Spiritual journeys towards a great enlight-en-ment .
There are charismatic predators but most of us are not…draw that distinction.
I disagree. A Spiritual Sociopath is a person who has no conscience toward God and the Society and Nation He is building through The Man WHo is Himself – Christ Jesus. Be aware, in Spiritual Reality there is also evil. The definition of sociopath..no problem there – One can only be Conscious of God’s Will by the Spirit which is of Himself – otherwise, whatever ‘god’ one envisions is but an invention of the inclination of ones heart of understanding. Without the Spirit of God which is Given by an act of God it is impossible to Know The Truth – The Light of Man which was Exemplified in the Person of His Christ Who was before the foundation of the earth. Here is described ‘wolves in sheep’s clothing’..can be nothing more than people exercising their own self will. In varying degrees – relevant to God – we are all sociopaths…apart from His Perfect Kingdom of Light Love and Truth. The key word is ‘conscience’…not ‘consciousness’ as those false teachers will lead many to believe. Being Conscious there is A God is just the beginning of Entering into His Eternal Kingdom – even evil people can be conscious that there is a god but have no quelms in believing in whatever god pleases themselves without being transformed by the renewing of the mind and being not conformed to the patterns of the world and its sociopathic inclinations (in God’s all Loving and Merciful Understanding)…so that one can know the Will of God – that which is Good Acceptable and Perfect. Now there is a difference between ‘ignorant of the Knowledge of God’ and being innocent of that..but also an unwillingness to acknowledge that we love to believe our own personal lies or inclination that are hidden in the darkness – even to ourselves.
You’re a spiritual sociopath. Good job. How? You have no ‘conscience’ of God..nor are conscious nor care about it at all..it comes perfectly natural to you. That is sociopathy at the spiritual level – and for all we know – you might well be one at the carnal level as well.
While I agree that this is a problem, there is really no article here. Would be nice to see a more in depth piece on what to look for, how people might be manipulated etc… Charismatic leaders are experts at manipulation and clothing in spiritualism. I have literally met a sociopath before who used spiritual ideas like unconditional love to manipulate others – it actually left me feel disillusioned with the spiritual path, because there can be wolves in sheep’s clothing just waiting to prey on the vulnerable. One of the main strategies this person used against me was this idea that I wasn’t really a good spiritual person or walking the walk if I didn’t unconditionally love and accept everything he said or did (a manipulative strategy). Also, he would find way to encourage me to abandon my own instincts, intuitions, moral compass etc… He was just using me to fulfill his own narcissistic supply, but didn’t actually care about me or others. The first thing I would advise anyone is DO NOT IGNORE your instincts, if you have that gnawing feeling that something just isn’t right or your boundaries are being violated, pay attention! Abuse can come in very subtle forms, and creep in so gradually you don’t even realize it is happening.
I agree with you, these types can be encountered anyway not just within obvious cult circles. I met a spiritual sociopath once, and he was after exactly what you mentioned here – fulfillment of his own ego /narcissistic supply. He specifically looked for and targeted vulnerable women, who would fall easy prey to his charm and charisma. It was only after I spoke with another woman who had a similar experience with a sociopath, that I was compelled to read up on narcissistic abuse and sub-clinical psychopathy. Only then did I actually begin to understand what was happening and how I was being manipulated by this person – pretty much all of them will use a similar playbook.. They are experts at is managing their public image, saying and doing all the right things to have people hooked, but there are many other ‘tells’. I don’t think this article was particularly helpful or detailed enough to assist people in recognizing these wolves in sheep’s clothing. But it is a very real issue, that I think people need to be aware of.
Here are some of the other traits or ‘tells’ that I think people should be looking for to identify a spiritual sociopath:
1.Charismatic individual, and they use charm and flattery lure you
2. Not showing concern for your boundaries or others, or attempt to blur boundaries or make pseudo romantic overtures that leave you feeling confused or destabilized.
3. Manipulative behavior
4. Love bombing – excessive calls, texts, and needing to monopolize all of your time. Escalating a connection very quickly, and with great intensity (can almost feel like a high). Using spiritual ideas or their personal charisma to get close or to seduce you (this is especially inappropriate if it is a spiritual teacher).
5. Attempts to get you to abandon your own critical thinking, judgement, instincts that leave you in a position to be receptive to their brainwashing and accept their system of how to behave, think etc….
6. They tell you a victim story about themselves, to get you to feel bad for them (this will later be used to manipulate you and your good nature, and/or excuse bad behavior)
7. You keep feeling confused, stressed, taken off-guard or have a bad feeling and don’t know why.
8. They encourage you to abandon attachments to others – this is a way of isolating you and making you more vulnerable and dependent on them. Also, sociopaths/psychopaths do not have the ability to form normal attachments or have real and genuine concern for other human beings, though they can fake it where necessary.
9. They are controlling and speak to in a way that implies that they know what is best for you (or know you better than you know yourself).
10. They are ignoring or dismissive of your needs or concerns.
Get help or support from a professional or close friend person who is not in any way connected to the individual concerned, if you keep suspecting that something is wrong.