The Balancing of Extremes
By Mary Cook, M.A., R.A.S.
When we passively wait for life to fulfill us, we end up depressed and disappointed. When we assert our will to fulfill our desires, we end up on a perpetual treadmill. When we follow everyone else’s advice, we end up lost, confused and resentful. When we ignore our own life and direct others how to live theirs, we end up in conflicts, hostile dependent relationships and ultimately alone. When we allow old habits and mundane distractions to supersede higher guidance and growth, we lose energy, inspiration, self-esteem and integrity. When our primary focus is internal and ethereal, we lose groundedness, healthy functioning and the ability to experience enriching relationships.
When we ignore internal or external signs that suggest we’re on the right or wrong track, we miss positive opportunities, or negative experiences escalate. When we empower every internal or external sign by altering our decisions and behaviors, we live without a center to our being. When we take no responsibility for our health and happiness, we are angry and miserable. When we believe it is our responsibility to be perennially healthy and happy no matter what happens in our life, we feel guilty and angry with ourselves for every failure. When our expectations of ourselves, others or life are perfectionist or fatalistic, we will be unhappy. When we think we have no control or total control over our life, we will be unhappy.
There are countless factors affecting individual health, happiness and fulfillment. Some of the factors can be known to us and some cannot be known, irrespective of how evolved we are. Life is in constant change and we must embrace the mysteries as well as consider what appears to be concrete in the moment. A holistic view respectfully incorporates all of the aspects of ourselves, the elements that life presents to us, as well as the unknown, before making important decisions or taking significant action.
Our mind gives us logic, reason, and common sense based on evaluations from past experiences, role models, psychological, cultural, religious, political and other sociological influences. Our lower mind contributes thoughts derived from habits, including addictions and compulsions. Since our primitive brain is concerned with survival of our individual selves as well as the species, its’ thoughts are focused on fear, anger, hunger, thirst, lust, obtaining reward and pleasure, and avoiding pain. The higher part of our brain is concerned with creativity, new learning, healing, maturation, inspiration and enlightenment.
Our heart gives us a variety of feelings; positive, negative, ambivalent and sometimes ambiguous. These feelings then affect how open, closed or cautious we are to experiences. The quality of our heart energy determines the extent, depth and maturity of our love, compassion, sensitivity and generosity. When we don’t feel safe to give or receive love, this diminishes our deepest desire to live. Our heart energy is the strongest when we feel the innate power of love within us, irrespective of external conditions.
