How Attached Are You to Sources Outside Your Self?
by Maria Khalifé
“Life is the sum of all your choices.” ~Albert Camus
Each one of us strives to be happy. We also strive NOT to be unhappy. Over the years, each of us has developed habits that we think will make us happy or will not make us unhappy.
We all cherish our habits. We hold fast to them, and in holding on, commit ourselves to reap the reward or the burden those habits create.
Some of our habits see us attached to people; conditions or things that we think will make us happy. We habitually sense fear if those people, conditions or things change, and we wrap ourselves in a blanket of fear if we end a relationship, lose a job or have to move to a different location, for example. I have always loved decision making. And I developed a tool to help me to analyze my situation (Happy? Unhappy? Fearful?). That what I’d like to share with you in this article. It’s a very simple little question.
1. How old were you when you decided that?
If I think that I have to surround myself with only the elite hoi polloi, how old was I when I decided that? If I think I can only drive x brand of car, how old was I when I decided that? If I work in a certain field, how old was I when I decided that? I know you’re catching the drift here. And after I ask myself this question, I ask myself the second one:
2. Would you like to upgrade that decision?
I have discovered that if I try to hold on to what has become familiar to me due to my early-on decision (and some of them go back to grade school for heavens sake,) I might be limiting myself to what was at one time my freshest, greatest, best decision. That old decision is long since been ready for an upgrade, but I was holding on so tightly, it couldn’t. And I couldn’t possibly enjoy the fruits of my present moment by adhering blindly to the decisions in the past.
I suspect that, like me, you’ve become attached to your decisions.
I suspect that like me, you’ve got data bases full of them inside your mind. And I think that if you’d just go through a few days this week asking yourself “How old were you when you decided that?” Followed by “Would you like to upgrade that decision,” you could create true freshness and greater joy in your life this week. It’s not simple to let go of your attachments. It takes a conscious effort throughout one day, and then the next day, and then the whole week, and then the month. But I know that if you will make a commitment to Being That Change, at the end of 30 days, your life will look a lot better. You could begin by asking yourself some of these questions:
- Do I accept the right now moment for all that it contains? Then Q1; then Q2.
- Do I believe that my right now moment contains enough? Then Q1; then Q2.
- Do I try to control or manipulate people? Then Q1; then Q2.
- Do I see myself fluidly, or am I locked in place? Then Q1; then Q2.
- Do I have enjoyment and relaxation in my life? Then Q1; then Q2.
- Am I my own best friend, or do I depend on others to feel worthy? Then Q1; then Q2.
- Do I have my own values and passion and do I nurture them? Then Q1; then Q2.
- Am I able to let go of my attachment to one special other and see myself as whole even if that other wasn’t there? Then Q1; then Q2.
- Can I interact with all people, or is my core group too small? Then Q1; then Q2.
- Can I let go of relationships that no longer serve me? Then Q1; then Q2.
