Singledom to Doubledom
The simple answer is there is no real “how to” because we are all unique in our approach to how we choose open to love. From experience, time spent with someone, naturally leads you to a place of feeling that you are in love as you enjoy quality time talking, being intimate and sharing life stories and then naturally that leads to a deepening and an opening of which we are not really in control into our deeper darker caverns and a choice as to how we bring that into our relationship.
Most of our defense responses are programmed and conditioned from childhood and we will go on to do things the way we have always done them until the time comes where we REALLY want to change the record. I am saying this because I always intended to change and wanted so much to find a better way but until I really hit rock bottom 3 years ago when a significant relationship dissolved, I had no basis for true change.
So ask yourself do you REALLY REALLY want to change the way you find and have a relationship? It took me over 20 years to find the courage to do it differently and if by magic I have now found someone who I have been waiting for all my life.
All that said I am compelled to write what I believe are the ideas and choices you could make next time around. Take from this what makes sense to you.
1. Make a commitment today to throw out the old love spectacles you are wearing and don some new ones!
2. Stop looking for that special someone – it is one of the oldest but best pieces of advice I feel I can pass on and an age old saying passed on by our parents and those before them. Breaking it down, I believe that we never actually eradicate the feeling of wanting someone in our lives, because our Divine calling keeps us bound to seek love, but loosing the yearning that often makes us unhappy, can help. I was chained to wanting to find love until 3 years ago when I finally took myself in hand and thought, what is really going on in me? I educated myself with the loving help of Imago Relationships International through a very deep and revealing course and read all their books and for me it was a life/love changing moment. The time was right. My advice to you is…IF you want to truly understand yourself in love then get some help, save yourself more heartache. There is a whole heap of things that you could learn about relationships that you would not know by simply being in one. My door and heart are always open to listen and help. In the mean time go live life and fill it with hobbies, fitness or creations that mean something to you!
