Singledom to Doubledom
3. Think about what you want from a new relationship. Depending on your age you may either be looking for a casual fling with no strings attached or a long term committed relationship with all the whistles and bells. Some of us start out thinking we want a casual fling and some fun but when the heart gets hooked all the same old feelings arise. So if you can handle it be sure that is what you want, not what you think the other person may want! Conscious relationships require both people to be ultimately committed to grow and heal beyond the past. The past shows up every time when we find the bravery to open to love and it can be a scary and tricky time for both people, therefore choosing someone who is willing to go the distance with you is really important. I can help you understand what a conscious relationship looks like.
4. Julia my dear friend, this one is for you as you. Use oodles of discernment when you are out in life where the opportunities come up to meet someone. When you do meet a new honey, ask yourself, is what they are saying matching what I want for a new relationship? Please, I beg you, spend time finding out!
LISTEN closely to what they are saying and don’t ignore potentially important information where they might be inferring that a long term relationship is not on their agenda right now! When you meet someone you like it’s easy to let the mind and body get carried away with a rush of lust chemicals. A natural part of the unconscious bonding process, but I have fallen foul of this many times and then beaten myself up when the happy ending story doesn’t happen further down the line, because in the heady heights of the romantic stage I have missed the warning signs that this man isn’t ready for a long term relationship. Some of the warning signs can be:
a. A big age difference. Fun at the start and a big adrenaline rush but big age gaps more often than not mean being in a totally different life position with one ready to settle and one not.
b. Meeting someone who has not long split from a long term relationship. In the main, confusion and rebound feelings get in the way and your new partner may well not have the ability to concentrate fully on this new relationship and that can be very painful for you if you let it run.
c. Their work/careers maybe at the very top of their list of values and having a relationship may not be a priority right now. If you consider your relationship to be number one or at least very high up on your list of values, this potential mis-match can and will cause problems as you get more involved and struggle to rank yourself higher up their list when in they did make it clear from the outset that most of their love is heading in the direction of work.
