Singledom to Doubledom
d. Ladies be wary of guys who are all up for having great sex. If you want a long term relationship be careful how you offer yourself up. Getting guys to move up into their hearts away from their package is not always an easy path to navigate, especially in a new relationship. Again discerning and taking time to watch and listen are all key. Honour yourself and do what feels right for you.
5. Once into the heady flush of a new relationship try and enjoy, let go and have courage to let happen whatever is coming day by day. As you grow deeper into your new partnership, stuff will come up that flicks some painful switches from the past. It happens to us all. My friend Michelle asked me “but how do I let the barriers down if I think I have met the ONE”. My answer to this would be slowly and with courage but with the full support and safety created by your new partner. If you have chosen to soak up the above advice and your new partner is saying and doing all the great things that give you the space to be you, then each time you hit a wall where you feel like protecting yourself, communicate it in a way that explains how you feel. You can then work together to find a way to have what you need from your partner. But it takes two! Freezing them out when they have said or done something to upset you only deepens your defenses, makes you and them feel isolated and doesn’t allow what is truly bothering you to be heard and healed. Huge courage is needed to face yourself and your past in the relationship and it takes allot of time, energy, love and patience to help each other heal and grow. Always be there for each other and make it a priority as much as possible, to be accessible on the phone or in person, especially in times of discomfort. This way you will create and provide the much needed safety to allay both of your inner fears and past wounds. Providing safety to let it all out in the comfort of a secure relationship space is the best place to start the journey backs to the real you. But remember it is always your choice as to how much you reveal and let go of. Better out than in though, is my motto!
Final thoughts are that I feel there is Divine order to who we will meet and how we will get a chance to look at ourselves in truth. I really believe that there are only two basic instinctual feelings/emotions, and they are love and fear. Our task is to clear our fear “blockages” in order to open and fill up with more love as we proceed through life. No relationship in life, more than our intimate ones, provide such ripe conditions to allow these blockages to clear, therefore it is, by its very nature, a delicate path. More reason then, as much, as possible to attract someone with the same goals and desires as you. To be real, authentic and to love no matter what.
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