Is Love Enough?
They will have daddy and mummy time and you will have to fit in, like it or lump it. If you are not up to it then don’t go and fall in love with someone who has kids, simples! I don’t mean to sound hard but a girlfriend I know has a relationship with a man who is the sole caretaker for his son. She has 2 grown up sons who are not at home and she wants her man and lots of time with him to explore the world and life. A natural desire I feel. It has caused great angst in the past because maybe it is a no no for her deep down and yet it is so not easy because she will have to be a mum to her man’s son in many ways.
Distance between you if you live in different parts of the country or the world, will cause angst at some point. Love falters unless you are in the same room for good periods of time because connection is largely based on physical closeness. I once had a boyfriend who lived only 2 hours away but the distance did cause friction. We used to ag over who would go to who’s at the weekend etc. Eventually comes the decision, who is going to move to who? A move is a big decision and the depth and quality of your love comes under the spotlight. Is love really enough when you could be way away from friends, family, work/business and your whole life?
People break up over distance problems, the “wrong time in life to meet”, large age gaps, different upbringings, different cultural backgrounds, different religious/spiritual standings and other things, all the time.
How many times have you been in the pub or sat with a group of mates where the hot topic is of a relationship break and they list all the reasons why it didn’t work which often have nothing to do with love? So love wasn’t enough then?! Yes some people will say “we fell out of love” and I really hear that and that’s a subject for another article but generally life consists of many elements that all need to come together nicely for love to feel like it has got fertile ground to flower.
So what can you do? Well it’s all about risk mitigation if you are cautious type. I used to oscillate regularly from the cautious type to throwing all caution to the wind. So ouch!
Let’s look at this inflated example to get the thought juices flowing. If you meet a man/woman in a bar who is totally gorgeous but they have 4 ex marriages, a string of kids, they live in Timbuktu and regularly sacrifice lambs on an alter and expect you to be circumcised before you have sex, then I guarantee that no matter how hot they are, love won’t be enough in the end. Get my point? But we often choose not to hear the important stuff up front because the lust goggles cloud your vision.
