Six Mindful Strategies to Recover from the Shock of Loss

I decided to meditate on their situation, and what came to me was the visual image of the subcontinent of India. “That’s curious,” I thought, but decided to sit with it and soon, as if a voice had spoken to me, I had an inner knowing that I needed to suggest to Mark and Selena, who had conveyed an openness to the idea of traveling, to take some time off from their jobs and travel to the city of Varanasi in India. Varanasi is known as a holy place where the dying go to prepare for death and where bodies are prepared for the traditional cremation and return to the sacred Ganges River.

My logical, rational mind said, “Ron, that’s crazy. Why would you send two grieving and suffering parents who have no spiritual connection to India, and who are Lutherans from the Midwest, to Varanasi, where they know no one and would see death and suffering all around them?”

I discussed it with several of my colleagues who agreed it was a terrible idea but every morning when I meditated and connected to my intuition it kept telling me the same thing. Finally, one of my old teachers and mentors, Ram Dass, told me, “I think you may be on to something. They need to immerse themselves in their grief instead of denying it. Where better to do that than India?” When I mentioned it to Mark and Selena they weren’t sure how they would benefit from a trip to Varanasi, but meditated on it and told me that taking the trip felt “right” to them.

In India, Mark and Selena connected with their grief as they observed the dead and dying, but at the same time, they started to feel a sense of connection to other people and to a world in which suffering is inevitable. While there they spent time working with a committed humanitarian in her facility for the poor. She did not try to explain to Mark and Selena how they might handle their loss but instead invited them to join her in her everyday work of attending to the sick and dying.