Has Your Honey Got The Eye?
by Gina Hardy
I love the feeling of writing this because I know I have been a keen watcher of people who have “the eye” over the years. I was indeed many a time on the receiving end of boyfriends past, who had the eye.
I have heard a gazillion times “oh he /she definitely has the eye.” It seemed a common phrase when I was in my 20’s.
Let.s start by defining what I mean by “the eye.” Visualize this scene for a moment.
You are out with your honey at a party. You are having a great time but you notice the space by your side most of the evening because they are off chatting and mingling with others. Now many people love that their partners are free to roam and chat but what about when they find certain people more interesting than you, even though they swear blind that you are imagining it? You begin to notice they are honing in on one particular person. Their body language smells of “interested” and there is some perceived flirting going on. You feel a small panic rising within but berate yourself for feeling it and push it away. The very next week you are out and the same thing occurs and when they are with you they seem intent on not showing you affection and seem a little standoffish.
Now some people might not be so obvious about it. You just catch them gazing surreptitiously at other gorgeous people, or maybe just looking at one particular person. These are people who have “the eye” i.e an eye elsewhere that can say “not currently fulfilled here”.
Have you ever spectated upon couple where it’s happening? It’s often so sad and horrid for the other person. Victims of “eyers” have told me they feel unloved, worthless, not enough, insignificant. How sad if they can’t articulate it to their beloved for fear often of losing them.
As I always say with everything. It is a feeling and an energy deep down inside that tells you when things are not right. Never ignore it because you are usually right!
So what maybe be happening if you think your beloved has the eye?
- They may just love people and have no intention whatsoever in upsetting you and they may not even know they are doing it (been there…doh!).
- They maybe be a good chunk younger than you (or not) and still wanting to be out there having a good time. It may be a cry for freedom. If you are having what you feel to be a relationship, they may have different ideas about what that looks like. This could mean that they are not ready to commit.
- They may not have matured in the relationship and this behavior is a growth edge being reached.
- They may be honeymoon junkies or excitement experts. It.s true that the feeling of newness of someone and flirtatiousness is an elixir but it.s not sustainable and EVERY relationship experiences a wearing off of these feelings. The early feelings are designed to bond you for the next stage of healing and growth from childhood. Be warned!
You may be the one with the eye and identify with one of the above!? Whatever the who’s who, it is usually, but not exclusively, a sign that something is up.
