My Stolen Moment, My Miracle to Share
So I sang my lullaby for the rest of the pregnancy, every day, sometimes 3 times a day. My lullaby had become my daily prayer, my voice, and the link between God and my daughter’s life.
Week after week, I started to feel better. I looked beautiful and I made the decision to take care of myself emotionally, physically and spiritually. I went to see my Pastor, and I went to speak with a therapist, so that every week I could allow myself to be human and vulnerable. With the help of my wonderful team of doctors we made the decision to have one U/S every month to see if we could detect any clues about the wellbeing of the baby. I also found an amazing massage therapist who literally, with her amazing hands was able to glue my heart somewhat back together with her wonderful pre-natal massage.
Also, because of my history of fast deliveries anywhere from the longest 2 hour to the shortest 20 minute deliveries, (believe it!), we thought it was wise to induce this birth at 38 weeks. But because the neonatologists were not available on the weekends, we scheduled the induction for 38 weeks and 3 days which would fall on a Tuesday, April 4, 2006. Now you know I made it past 28 weeks.
It was Saturday morning at 7 am, April Fool’s Day, no less, no kidding, and I had to drive my older son John to his SAT exam. On the way home I felt a twinge. Nothing much, I thought. “After all I am 15 days before my due date, and besides God would not do this to me now. I have to have the neonatologists present for this birth and they are not around today. Plus, I have no pain, just a bit of pressure.” I drove home and told my husband about how I was feeling. I called my doctor. She advised me just to keep track of these “twinges”, in case they got closer together. Now, I had had babies before and I was certain that I was not in labor because I had no pain. But I did think at the time that I might not make it till Tuesday. Perhaps Monday I thought. But as time passed I felt more pressure. I then called my mother in law, Pattie, who was coming over to cook for the week and to help me, pack, and I asked her to come over earlier. She got in the car and drove over. She was an hour and 15 minutes away. I was fine. We just waited. When she arrived I told her we should go to the hospital to see why I was feeling pressure in my lower abdomen. Knowing that there were issues with the baby, we wanted to make sure all was well. We arrived at the hospital at 1:45 pm. I walked in and they were surprised to see me so calm. I mentioned I was just making sure everything was OK because of my history. They agreed to check me and by 2 pm I had my gown on and I was ready to be checked. I was 5 cm dilated, the nurse told me. I could not believe it! I had dilated with NO PAIN????? No way!!!!…. “The bullet, straight to my heart, I thought, I hoped” I started to get nervous because now I knew I was not going home and there were no doctors around. Mine was on the way, and the neonatal team was being paged. I asked for an epidural, (thought I was too old to endure pain, after all I had been through)
