Being Truthful Without Causing Harm
Giving Feedback in the Workplace
by Baba Shuddhaanandaa Brahmachari
Being positive is being a source of light unto others. Positivity is a kind of energy field which creates ripples of vibrations of joy and understanding. So how do we give truthful, needed feedback to others without being negative and doing harm to them? How do we always stay in the light even when we are called on to discipline our children or our staff?
In this article we will explore how, in order to be a productive manager, you need to be anchored in your positive spirit and also, if need be, show your toughness as an administrator when it is extremely needed. We will also explore how tools of positive parenting can be used in the workplace. A mother not only has to be loving and forgiving, but she also needs to watch and discipline the child, not through abuse, but through persuasive conversations that instill faith and love. We will learn how to use the same skills with our employees as a mother uses with her child.
Giving feedback to an employee is quite a tricky situation. Since it relates to the workplace then it is a matter of discipline, or correction. If you are on the righteous path and mean to cause no harm to any one, then you will always create an aura of your own where people will learn a lot just by being in your presence.
But at times you need to take a stand just to make sure nobody takes advantage of your softness. It is the work in the workplace that is important. It is the corporate goal that is important, and the team leader will have to lead by example and at times have to be hard, too, to set the house to order. As long as you don’t deliberately hurt the other, but act for their good. This is like when you chastise your child and she feels hurt. If you did not chastise here, and allowed her to do what she pleased, that could lead to poor behavior on the part of your child, and in that case your would have not done a good job as a mother.
So too, in the workplace; it is not hurting others that is your motivation. Getting the desired results out of a person or group needs tactful administrative skills, like a watchful parent. Look for the right time to say what you want to communicate and give it without any sense of ego involved in it. Let the other person feel who you are, and leave the rest to the Divine in a note of utter surrender.
You cannot allow business to suffer by encouraging lower efficiency among your staff. More interactions are needed. More encouragement and appreciation must go hand in hand with toughness, when it is the last resort. For the collective good cannot suffer due to the negligence of one or two members of a team.
Like a positive parent who talks about the positive qualities of child, you are not forcing the employee to obey, and presuming that whatever is said would be carried as orders, you are waiting for the right time, at the right place, and to open your heart to share what you think would be in the best interest of your employee. Say, what you have to say without the slightest hope that it would be followed. Just say it with the trust that your staff will see the light of your sharing as if it is coming from a source without command and expectation of control.
This is the way to becoming a happy, stress-free manager, who is not burdened by the staff’s changing behavioral patterns. Accept the pattern as it is, and see the positive possibilities, and start with a very positive attitude of detachment while working from the plane of your uplifted Spirit.
As you can see, being a manager is very much like being a parent. In both these situations being a spiritual anchor is fundamental. Through the light of the spirit you can work wonders. Even in silence, always try to dwell on the positive field, and with love,understanding, and calmness; try to open the hearts of others. In this way, you are living spirituality, and not talking about it. You cannot transform negativity with negativity. You cannot fight darkness with darkness. Light is the needed ingredient in order to transform attitudes. In the workplace, you need to be appreciative of different manifestations of human nature, different shades of darkness and light. We can manage machines easily, but not humans.
When you are in a reactive field of mind, you are already angry. With anger and negativity, you cannot trigger positive energy in others. What is needed is the power to understand the cause of negative behavior of your coworkers. If you approach the situation with understanding, love, and appreciation, then you can help the negative person see value in your positive frame of mind.
You don’t have to resolve the issue with the person then and there. Wait for your time. Maybe in a friendlier situation, you can raise the issue and address the cause with ease and harmony. Here you are not imposing, but creating the energy field in which the negative person can open up to positive light that you have.
Try to convey the peace of your heart, knowing full well that your intention was not to hurt or harm but to HEAL. But when coworkers have their egos pinched that may create a problem for you. This happens. You can be a most cautious manager, but do not ever retreat to a position where you can avoid the shot of insulting words completely, no matter how good you are. This is part of life as much as appreciation and pats on the back.
Let your employee know that what you are doing is not a disciplinary action but something you have to do only to remind her that she can do things better and she has the potential to perform at a much higher level to please those who come to receive her service.
A good manager learns the art of managing manpower in such a way that even the most difficult task appears to the team as a wonderful challenge to pursue. The goal is to create group harmony in order to attain to optimal efficiency. One way to create harmony is through the practice of sitting together in a group before a meeting, or even a luncheon, for a few minutes in silence. Guide your employees in relaxing the body from head to the toe, then focusing the mind on the breath for a few seconds; they will come out of this practice more centered. It instantly brings about a change in the tense physical and mental conditions both inside and outside the body. What I am trying to share with you is very similar to how we help our children focus on their studies while their mind is ongoing out to play. So also you need to develop a positive relationship with your group and make them feel that whatever the task is, positive group dynamics will bring forth the best result. One of the best ways to be a good leader is to always give the credit of any good result to the group and not claim it for one’s own self. If the group or any member of the group fails, take the responsibility on your shoulder and give the person a chance to overcome the mistake next time.
As a manager you have to create that discipline where each understands their job responsibility and each contributes toward the common goal and is rewarded in every sense. Your positive energy field, your smiles and appreciation, your helping hands when they need it will all contribute toward those harmonious conditions that are needed for teamwork.
Just as a mother works toward peace and harmony among her children, so too a manager works toward peace and harmony in the workplace, one smile at a time.
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