Judith Orloff

Judith Orloff MD: There’s a chapter on emotional vampires, which is my term for many difficult people-for instance, a criticizer, a victim, a narcissist, or a controller. I say, let them be our teachers, rather than tormentors. We must ask ourselves: How do they teach us to communicate with more heart and better boundaries? How can we deal differently with feeling irritated, controlled, or insulted? The old way is to get nasty or withdraw. The new way is to not simply react when your buttons get pushed-a behavior that  perpetuates war. Practice what I call “the namaste effect,” which is, “I respect the spirit within you even if I don’t like what you’re doing.” Your victories over emotional vampires are not small-they’re huge. With every success, you are creating more hope for the world. From an intuitive standpoint, we are all interconnected: my emotional freedom affects your emotional freedom affects everyone in the world.

Barbara: In the book, you also define four emotional types.  What are they and what can they tell us about ourselves?

Judith Orloff MD: They are “the intellectual,” “the empath,” “the gusher,” and “the rock.”  These are the filters through which you see the world-the default setting of your personality to which you revert, especially under stress. Each type is determined by inborn temperament, upbringing, and perhaps karma. Since emotional freedom means being able to remain sensitive but centered in an overwhelming world, it’s essential to know your emotional type. Without this knowledge, many people dysfunctionally hunker down in their type for decades without examining which aspects do and don’t serve them.

Barbara: Your section of the book about sleep and dreams is fascinating. What can they teach us about emotional freedom?

Judith Orloff MD: Sleep and dreams are a conduit for emotional freedom. Sleep is a great awakener because your linear mind quiets down, and you enter a purely intuitive state where you can better understand your emotions and other realms. Dreams are revolutionary states of consciousness that impart intuitive wisdom about being free.

Here’s a personal example. Once, I went through a period of complaining a lot when nothing was working. Projects were falling through, patients were canceling appointments, I couldn’t even get the plumber to come and fix the toilet. I was in victim mode. Then I had a dream in which my deceased father came to me, and he was moving from one location to another. I asked, “Daddy, is there anything I can get you?” Smiling, he said, “No, darling, I don’t need anything except a pen and a piece of paper in case I want to write a thank-you note.” For me, this was a wake-up call that highlighted the importance of gratefulness here and in the Hereafter. It was all I needed to adjust my attitude to being more grateful for my life.