Are You Letting Fear Get in the Way of Your Highest Destiny?

By Colette Baron-Reid

How might your life be different if you let go of fear and challenged yourself to do those things that the deepest part of you—your soul—really wants you to do?

Maybe you’ve been daydreaming about moving to a new place, starting a business, setting a boundary, telling someone how you really feel, or simply doing something outside your usual box. Perhaps you just know that you’re being called to take action, but yet you just can’t seem to and so you may have become stuck, bored, or even depressed?

There is one thing that tends to interfere with living a full, authentic life. No, no, it’s not missing out on having a reading with yours truly. It’s the big bad Goblin of Fear!

First, I want to point out that fear itself isn’t a bad thing. At its core, fear is actually friendly. A natural act of love and self-protection, it’s a biologically-rooted system that’s working on our behalf 24/7 to warn us of possible threats to our life. Fear teaches us that our love of life is profound and hard-wired into our being.

But, here’s the rub: this survival instinct also doesn’t determine the difference between what is truly life-threatening and what we THINK might be threatening. And so, fear comes in countless different shapes and sizes and it plays itself out in all kinds of situations—fear of what happens if you take a risk, of putting yourself out there, of rejection, of intimacy, of flying, of heights… I could go on and on.

My point is that WE ALL experience fear. The important question isn’t whether you’re worried about something, but how you perceive and respond to those fears. Do you let them stop you from following your heart, from revealing who you really are, or from standing up for yourself? To live a truly authentic life and continue to evolve, it’s crucial that we “feel the fear and do it anyway,” as the popular saying goes.

The problem is that so many of us have been taught that fear is bad and so we try to avoid it at all costs. As a result, our fear grows into a Goblin, who then takes control and makes us a prisoner in our own lives.

If you’re familiar with my work, you’ve probably heard me talk about the Goblin before. I use the metaphorical character of the Goblin to represent the wounded ego we all have. As I talk about in my book, The Map: Finding the Magic and Meaning in the Story of Your Life, the Goblin holds onto what we’ve disowned in ourselves. The more you try to avoid “feeling the fear and doing it anyway,” the more you feed the Goblin of Fear. As he takes over your life, he just encourages you to find more evidence that your fears are real and persuades you to lock yourself in your “Me Bubble,” where it seems you can at least play it safe, no matter how bored, unhappy or powerless you might feel. He convinces you that you cannot accomplish your dreams, keeps you from living your truth, and tells you to not speak up. As he runs the show, you become disconnected from the Divine and your intuition and the possibilities before you dwindle.

Ultimately, fear isn’t something to avoid or even to conquer (as many “experts” tell you), but rather it’s an emotion to feel, experience, own, and love. Yes, LOVE! When you acknowledge this Goblin and send him love and compassion, you lull him to sleep and awaken the guidance of your higher self. With the Goblin quieted, you see that you’re truly never alone and that Spirit doesn’t give you anything that you can’t handle. You know that you really can “feel the fear and do it anyway,” for Spirit will support you every step of the way.

Exercise

Make a list of all the things you feel called to do. It could be anything—find a new job, ask for a raise, speak up to someone, do something new, ask someone on a date, and so on. Then write down all your fears for each. When you’re finished, ask yourself whether each fears is truly valid. Do you see real evidence of failure?

Next, go through the list and send love and compassion to each of them.

Close your eyes and allow your intuition to guide you. What do you need to do to feel the fear and do it anyway? What parts of yourself do you need to embrace? Perhaps confidence, trust, or surrender.

Finally, challenge yourself to take action on one fear this week. Feel it and do it anyway!

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