I’m Just a Barber!!

by Robert Tunstall

This is the testimony of Robert Tunstall. It is a beautiful and spiritual way to see kindness and compassion, even in the darkest parts of this world!

(for the full article and multimedia experience, click here:  OM-Times July 2010 Edition)

As the Barber for the Hospice Program at the California Medical Facility in Vacaville, I’m just like a Bartender. I get to hear all the men’s stories about the wives, girlfriends, moms, dads, brothers, sisters, and everyone else in their lives.

I do not just cut hair and shave the beards of the men in Hospice, but also in G-1, G-2 and G-3 hospitals, with a new addition of housing unit H-1, which is our out-patient housing unit. I’m the only Barber for those hospitals and out-patient housing units. I treat each person the same.  I have to be open to everyone’s religious beliefs as well as being able to express my own beliefs also without offending anyone.

It is easy for me to relate to these men about their loved ones. Out of the 30 years I have been in prison, my wife, Mary, and I, have been married for 27 years (together for 29). Mary is not just my wife, Mary is my “bestest friend” in the entire world. My dad has been with me for the entire 30 years. Dad is more my friend than a dad. We love fast cars (Chevys) and motorcycles. Dad likes his Hondas and I love Harley Davidsons. My son, Michael, has been such a joy to us both. And our grandson, Michael, is the greatest kid! So I can relate to these men.

As the Barber, I have to insure that I prevent cross-contamination. So I use a barbercide that prevents that. I must also watch out for any skin rashes or cradle rot on the scalp or lesions on the face or scalp. If there are any, I report them to the Registered Nurse.

I have a radio/CD player that I take with me and depending on where I’m cutting hair that day I play music for them. I used to take my own CD’s with me, but I think they are getting bored with them. They say, “Robert, can you put on a radio station for us?”

What makes things easier for me to understand their dying or long- term condition, is that I once had a brain tumor that created problems for me. It took three years for me to recover from, and I still ended up with short term memory loss and a chronic seizure disorder. AM I JUST A BARBER?

I’ve had 5 friends die here who I have known the entire 30 years I have been in prison. Each one took a part of me with them when they died…

Can you imagine dying alone? Those of us who work as Pastoral Care Service Workers and Volunteers do not let these men die alone!! When we have a man placed on “vigil” (which means that he has but a few minutes to a few days to live), we are with that man 24 hours a day, 7 days a week till his passing. We do not ever leave him.

I was holding the hand of one of the men one time when he asked me to pray for him and so I did. When I looked up at him I watched him take his last breath. I have never gotten over seeing this victim die. The horror is beyond what most people imagine. No one deserves to die like they do…The horror of death is everyone’s nightmare.

I cannot begin to explain how I feel about these men! They love to talk about their families and friends. I have to keep all their secrets, unless that secret could do harm to them.

The men who are dying or have long-term medical conditions look forward to seeing us. We are in Hospice 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to meet whatever needs we can. For the men in G-1, G-2, G-3 and H-1, we are only able to be with them from 7 am to 9 pm. But we take the best of care of them we can. Some of us even do without in order to meet the needs of some of these men.

The Hospice Program is allowed to give TVs and radios to the men in all the areas we cover. We are in need of as many of these we can get, as we just do not have enough to go around. The men need us to sit and listen to what is on their minds, to write letters for them, etc.

It is easy for me to listen to what they are saying. Most of the men look forward to meeting God, but they still have some fear. Part of my job is to assure these men that as long as they repent of their sins, all will be okay and God will be waiting for them with open arms.

Most of the men’s concerns are not just how they let their own family down, but also how can they make up for their victims. No matter what we have done in life, there are victims. The only answer I can give them is that God will take care of it.  I fight back the tears when these men are weeping like little children, because I know how they feel. These men need someone to express their feelings about their loved ones or victims, or how there is no cure for what they have, or about their fears of dying…

I am a Barber that does the best he can do to bring whatever comfort he can. Every time one of these men dies, I die, and every time I see a victim die.

We bathe these men; we change their diapers. I have seen some of the most hideous deaths — cancers, AIDS, Hepatitis C. I had one man tell me that this is what he did to his victim.

On Tuesdays at 1:00PM, I play Bingo with the guys (well I used to, but we ran out of donations). They win bags of candy, some with toothpaste; deodorants, razors, combs etc.  And I had to tell the guys last week that this was the last game.  We ran out of everything that had been donated, and the look on their faces was heart breaking.
As hospice workers and volunteers, we are the only comfort for their deepest fears.

I’m just the Barber.  Thank you from my heart to yours for all that you have done.

PLEASE DON’T STOP HELPING…

In His hands and care,
Robert Tunstall