A Journey Through Darkness
By Karen Ulvestad
It’s easy to forget that the entire world does not operate with integrity and honesty. It’s easy to get lost in the positive and spiritual aspects of our lives. I found myself in this place of darkness a few years ago, and have been slowly finding my way out.
I didn’t see it happen. I wasn’t aware of the change, until after my life changed. At that point, I couldn’t see what was happening. It was like a waking nightmare. It feeds itself, and is a very confusing place to be.
It started with a phone call from my mom. She had cancer. She had been to a traditional doctor five times, before they did tests to see what was wrong. She was losing her breath trying to walk up stairs. It was too late to operate. The tumor was wrapped around her aortic artery and her wind-pipe.
Hence, I fell into a very dark place without realizing it. I think that we sometime learn via falling into the fire, and struggling to find our way out. I think that human nature keeps us from grasping the entire situation, until we have moved past denying situations.
I spent years struggling, and wondering why. My mom eventually died. She chose her time, and died from an infection before the cancer took her physical life.
Now before I go further, I should share that I knew when she would pass. I am an intuitive individual. I think that made it harder, because I thought I had found peace with the events. I knew my mom was simply changing form from physical to spirit. What I didn’t realize was that every physical being grieves for losses in their lives, no matter how spiritual we have become.
I learned a big lesson about being a human being. As I traveled through the dark times, I found that the world became a fearful place. It is easy to embrace fear, without realizing it has been done. I think the turning point was a series of misadventures in my own life.
I experienced life stresses such as moving to another state, my mom dying, a new relationship, birth of a child, financial struggles and more. Each of these issues create a large amount of stress, which is not conducive of a spiritual lifestyle.
I would encourage people going through transitions to reach out to their friends and family (blood or spiritual) for support and encouragements. It is these people that provide the stability that keeps us from slipping in to darkness, and helps us grow in positive ways.
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