Practicing Solutions
By Mary Cook, M.A., R.A.S.
Pain and problems are the bell ringers beckoning us to challenge old beliefs in favor of fresh, new perspectives. Greater grief comes from denying or fighting problems, whereas greater gifts come from psychological development and spiritual practices. Healing requires a commitment to cause no harm to ourselves or others. With the exception of specific emergencies or crises, it is wise to refrain from making decisions or taking important actions until we have a state of outer silence, inner calm and clear thinking. We may need assistance from others who can provide empathy, stability and insight, thereby creating an emotionally safe climate in which personal clarity can develop.
Our observable problems and difficult emotions although certainly concerns in their own right, are often defending conscious awareness of deeper issues, along with their attendant thoughts and feelings. Many people with addictions, compulsions and chronic serious problems have a childhood history of significant trauma or abuse. Therefore it is prudent to explore possible parallels between present adult conflicts and childhood scenarios. All sensory cues, behaviors, feelings and thoughts that are similar to past traumatic situations, can re-stimulate the original painful energies.
Examining our defense mechanisms and defects of character allows us to identify a solution from spiritual principles. Actively demonstrating these principles in our daily lives, offers us healing for the deeper issues triggering symptomatic negative behaviors. If we have lived in chaos and confusion for example, we can practice serenity, with periods of deep breathing, physical relaxation, prayer or meditation. This disrupts negative habits, instills hope for releasing the original stress and provides self soothing to relieve the sense of emptiness when chaos diminishes. It is important to recognize and reinforce the moments of solution, and to feel grateful for experiencing them. This is how we attract more positive energy.
As long as we have a genuine desire for spiritual growth, it doesn’t matter if our beginning attempts with principled behavior feel fake. They only seem that way because we are used to believing that our false self is our true identity. And this false self does not want disempowerment or dissolution. The false self is composed of defensive adaptations to harm, that we experienced starting in childhood. Its’ role was to protect us when there were no healthier means to do so. Initial resistances to this false self stimulate fear and threats, however persistence in practicing solutions enlightens and transforms the false self. Defense mechanisms can provide short-term relief, but are not meant to be used as lifetime crutches, because they reinforce the original problem, create new problems, and prevent healing and growth.
Our true self is aligned with our soul, and that is what we empower when we practice spiritual principles. Because truth is more powerful than false beliefs and defensive identities, it is not necessary to intervene in every negative thought, feeling or action, nor to initially feel genuine in our practice, to effect positive change. As long as we are willing, mindful and practicing solutions as best as we can, true spiritual transformation will occur. Furthermore, our false self contains the energy of opposing forces, such as desires and deprivations, wishes and fears, cravings and withdrawals. Spiritual principles are unified, harmonious energies that give freely, without expectation, imposition or prejudice. As we become more used to positive energy, lightness, and improved feelings about ourselves and life, our practice will deepen and intensify on its own.
So if we have been selfish, we practice generosity and this changes our consciousness so that we perceive the wealth within us. If we have exhibited anger and rebelliousness, then demonstrating kindness and helpfulness allows us to experience the very energies inside of us, from which we’ve felt so desperately deprived. If we have expressed violence and hate, we take actions that promote peace and reverence for life. This helps cleanse us of the pain and horror of aggression that we received and suffered, and gave to others. Arrogance becomes humility and greed becomes gratitude, with every small spiritual step that we take. We realize that we no longer have to fight or fear ourselves or the outside world because of problems and pain. Instead these are the bells within us beckoning us to higher levels of maturation and greater gifts.
Click HERE to Connect with your Daily Horoscope!
Mary Cook is the author of “Grace Lost and Found: From Addictions and Compulsions to Satisfaction and Serenity”. She has over 35 years of clinical practice and 29 years of university teaching experience. She is a national speaker and has a private practice. Mary is available for telephone and office counseling, guided meditation, speaking engagements and in-service training. Contact her at: http://www.marycookma.com
