Sacred Vow – Chapter 11

Then Ian found himself back on his couch.  In his own world, his heart was as broken as had been the heart of Katerina when he’d left their most recent parallel life.  He did not want to accept that there would be unhappy lives, even if they were part of his great bond with Katerina.  It seemed that they simultaneously lived in many alternate lives, and he could not control which Katerina he would visit at any given time.  If what he experienced in this last visit was going to dominate the visits to come, Ian did not know if he could continue.

The next few visits Ian had with Katerina were not any more satisfying, nor did he ever visit the same place twice.  He continued to be little more than a spectator, pulled along for some unknown reason.  If he’d had any sort of control over his destinations, he would have chosen to return to visiting the Katerina of the tea visits.  He would have loved to meet her in that French country house again.

The new experiences were not completely without interest for him, however.  He came to know many manifestations of his dearest Katerina, and he was blessed with the knowledge of many of their parallel lives.

At first, Ian tried to meet with Katerina every evening after work.  But after a time, he began instinctively to accept a limit to the frequency of the visits.  He allowed himself a period of recuperation after each visit.  In due time, he would be moved to sit for meditation again.

Ian decided that the purpose of the recent visits was only to expand his definition of his relationship with the woman he first visited.  The most frustrating parts of the experiences were his lack of control during a journey, and his inability to return to a particular manifestation of their lives together.

During a given visit, even if Ian was certain that his point of view was through his eyes in a parallel life, his consciousness from his primary reality could do nothing but follow along.  He wanted to communicate with the Katerina of the other lives, and with the manifestation of himself as her partner in those places.  What a benefit it could have been to us all, he thought.  The couples he visited stumbled about, sometimes not fully appreciating each other, never understanding the scope of their relationship as Ian understood it.