Sacred Vow – Chapter 14

Djalma cringed and ducked his head.

“Yes.  You know what happened then,” Ian continued.  “You told me not to rush the time between trips, but I wasn’t thinking straight.  I was certain that if I could make the instant return, I would be able to handle the result.”

“Did you make it back?” Djalma asked.

Remembering the place where he landed made Ian flinch.  “I didn’t see the woman again.”  Before continuing, he took a moment to mourn her misery silently.

Ian was realizing how entangled he remained with the alternate existence he actually visited — Djalma was absolutely right — he now saw that he had still not disengaged from the world of the suffering Katerina and child.  There was something cathartic about exposing the experience to his conscious mind, and speaking about it.  But separating from her was saddening.  Now, he felt he was leaving her truly alone and abandoned.

“I feel certain that you’re only a spectator in their worlds, Ian.  You cannot affect what is already the reality there.”

Recalling some of his own speculations he was left with over the last few visits, Ian stopped Djalma.  “I’m not so sure of that any more, my friend, but let’s talk about that later.

Djalma handed Ian a bowl of hot soup and placed a cup of tea on the table by the couch.  They ate quietly.

After he finished his soup, Ian tried to continue with the story.  “When I tried to return to Katerina and the child, I got into some kind of in-between realm.  There was no light, and it drained any energy out of me that I called up.  I had to hold my emotions in check.  Every time I allowed myself any emotion, it felt like part of my physical body was being literally torn away.”

As he spoke, Ian reflexively raised his voice and said, “Damn, that hurt!”

Djalma recoiled at the loudness of Ian’s voice.

Ian didn’t say anything more for a while.

After some time passed, Djalma asked, “Are you all right?”

“Oh.  Yes. Sorry, I was just remembering,” Ian said.  “Not good.  I felt like I was dying in that dark place, being drained of my life energy.  I was stuck in some kind of void.  Then I decided to gamble that you were right about focusing on the?Sacred Vow if I got into trouble.  I directed all the energy I had left at it.”