SACRED VOW – CHAPTER 8
ONE WHO KNOWS
When he got back from work the next day, Ian was still charged from the previous night’s experience, even though he had lost several hours of sleep to it. Without brewing tea, he tried sitting in another meditation, hoping for an additional visitation. He tried sitting in the study with the teapot, but with no tea. Then he tried sitting without the teapot in the study. Unfortunately, Ian was too energized to relax. Nothing happened.
Even knowing that it would further delay his getting any much-needed sleep, Ian brewed a pot of tea and had a cup. He wanted to see Katerina right away. If a few seconds with her, here in his study, were all he could have, Ian would be glad for it.
What he really hoped for was to visit the Katerina of his tea visions. Since he was able to hear Katerina in this other life perhaps that was an indication that he would now be able to hear the Katerina he had been visiting for months, if he could only get back there. Ian longed to share with her what he had discovered.
From the moment he had initially seen her, walking through the forest path in their very first visit, Ian had been left with the unsettling conviction that she and he shared more than just the ongoing exchanges that he was experiencing. He had not been able, however, to find any rational justification for such strong feelings. But after the vivid memories of the night before, Ian felt he had seen pictures of a life that Katerina and he had lived together, or were living together now, in some parallel existence.
With the night before, he had experienced some additional portion of their story together. He had known her voice, her laugh, and her direct interaction with him in that life. And he wondered how this previously unrealized parallel life had subconsciously affected his experiences in his primary world.
Ian drank the tea, but he was disappointed. After taking his time enjoying two more cups, he was even more awake and yet had no additional experience of Katerina. Lingering in his recliner, he did not immediately notice when he started to go through the memories of the evening before. Soon Ian questioned why he was determined to have a new visit, since he was so blessed with a rich memory that he could relive with such vivid detail and sensations. His recollections of that experience were unlike any memories he had ever known before. They were just as authentic as the original experience.
After a while, Ian got out a notebook and began writing down every detail he could recall. The location of that new visualization was definitely not the world of his consciousness, or in his time. He wanted to firm up all the details in his mind. Perhaps he could find some answers to his recent experiences within the memories of those few days. He wanted to be able to share what he had experienced with his Katerina. Again, he was late getting to sleep.
For the next several evenings, no visit occurred. Though short on sleep, Ian continued to feel fully energized and happy. Night after night, until he had gone carefully through the entire experience of that simultaneous life with Katerina, he recalled an unbelievable amount of detail from that single visit. He concluded that something had changed. He was no longer merely visiting another reality, but actually living a portion of a parallel life. This had obviously resulted in a change in him, right down to his definition of self. Then it hit him. “A change in me?”
From what Djalma told him, Ian realized that such a change could alter the vibrational rate at which he resonated, change the signature of the study! He had been so busy recounting his extended visitation with Katerina that he had not worried himself about whether there was any significance in her recent absence. Ian tried to reassure himself by recalling that in the early days she had been gone for extended absences and there had been no reason for concern. Maybe sleep deprivation had caught up with him, but he felt overwhelmed by apprehension.
His first instinct was to immediately call Djalma and beg for help. But Ian felt guilty for departing their meeting so hastily and not keeping Djalma informed. Besides, Ian couldn’t just call him. He would have to call Liz and ask her to hike up to Djalma’s forest home. Although she tramped through the woods quite regularly, Ian was not willing to ask her to do so at his request.
The next thing Ian knew, he was drowsily responding to the alarm clock. He’d finally slept, but apparently not for very long. He woke, exhausted.
Later that day at work, Ian’s anxiety about losing contact with Katerina overcame his reservations. He made the call to Liz. It was comforting just to talk with her for a while. He asked her to ask Djalma to call him collect any evening, whenever she next saw him. She agreed not to go looking for Djalma, but would wait until he came for one of his frequent visits to her B&B.
Djalma called that night. Ian hoped the prompt response was due merely to his good fortune, not to any extraordinary efforts on Liz’s part.
“I’m surprised to hear from you again so soon,” Djalma said with a pointed but friendly irony.
Ian apologized and groveled appropriately. “Oh, I know, Djalma. I’ve been meaning to call. The charm you gave me worked so beautifully that I did not want to trouble you. I really have to thank you. You knew what you were doing with that.”
“Thank you,” Djalma said.
Ian paused for a moment. “I believe I have a related question.”
Then he told Djalma about the reality-transfer during meditation. He did not go into details, just mentioned the fact the teapot had not been in the room, how it had felt, and the impact the experience had had on him. Then Ian told how since then he had achieved neither a new meditative transfer experience nor a tea visit.
While he was relating his story, Djalma made no real response. He just made the kind of slight diversionary sounds one might make when distractedly turning a strange or unexpected idea over in his mind: “Uh-huh.” “Hm-m-m.” “Really?”
Ian assumed the limited responses meant Djalma was surprised. Ian had thought the new kind of experience might have been caused by the token. This made Ian wonder why he had assumed that all that happened was part of Djalma’s plan. Ian concluded his story and said, “Maybe the token you gave me needs a new charge.”
“I’m afraid it could never have been more than a temporary solution, Ian,” Djalma replied. “It performed its only intended function. Your visits ceased to pose any immediate threat to your health.
“You need to realize that the visits, in their previous form, may not be meant to continue forever. It sounds as if you have moved into another phase.”
“Yes, the dearth stage. That’s what troubles me, Djalma.”
“I don’t think you realize the extent of what you’ve achieved, Ian. You removed a distinct part of the portal, and yet it continues to function. Not only that, you now have a degree of access beyond what the collective resonance of the study gave you. You can hear the sounds of that place and seem to be somewhat embodied within a physical form.
“This new development is almost unbelievable! I wish I could manage such an experience.”
Initially, Ian swelled with pride. Seconds later, he deflated back to humility—realizing he had no idea how his experience had been induced. Then he sank to sheer terror. If he had no idea, and it had not been the specific result of Djalma’s assistance, how would they know how or even if the portal would function again?
“It’s only been a few days since your last visit,” Djalma continued. “It’s possible that your nervous system can only take so much of such high-intensity experiences. It’s quite probable this kind of a connection would be very demanding on your spiritual energies. This was no ordinary visitation. I wouldn’t push for the next journey too soon, Ian. You found your way there, and it is likely you will do so again when you’re ready to handle it.”
Ian felt too anxious to adopt a wait-and-see approach. “Is it possible that my reaction to the extended trip has changed me in such a way that Katerina and I can no longer contact each other?”
“That is possible, Ian, but I think it unlikely. It’s too early to tell. We can only wait and have faith that your inner intelligence knows what it’s doing, and knows when you’ll be ready for more.”
“What about making the kind of counterbalance adjustment within me that you made with the token? Wouldn’t that be a more direct solution?”
“Oh, no. Even if I were capable of such a thing, Ian, I wouldn’t do it. Attempting to sculpt another’s energetic resonance would be a very dangerous undertaking. Not only would such a reckless venture endanger your body, mind and spirit, it could also harm me.”
“What about giving a new charge to the token?” Ian asked.
Gently but firmly, Djalma said, “You don’t understand the delicacy and potential danger of what you’re suggesting. When we used the token, we weren’t in full control of the result. It was a calculated gamble at best. I tried because you were caught in a situation that was damaging you. The alteration seemed to be the best of a number of possible choices, all of them questionable.
“This is an entirely different situation, despite what you may believe. Your subconscious is in a recuperative phase. Whenever that recovery is complete, you will probably return to Katerina. But this visit may have yet other new aspects.”
Ian was frustrated by Djalma’s rational path. Djalma, however, had never given Ian reason to doubt him or his wisdom. Until given reason to do otherwise, Ian would trust him.
“Ian,” Djalma said. “I need to point out something that I know you know, but seem to have momentarily lost track of. I have the terms to describe what is going on. I have studied the relative theories, and even have the odd talent that suggests possession of some superlative information. But you are the ‘one who knows’ in this situation.
“I cannot do what you have done, nor have I ever done anything similar. You lack the conscious understanding of what is going on and why. But your spirit knows. Within you is all the information you will ever need.
“If you allow me, I can be a support to you. I can point you back to yourself when you stray. But that’s all I can do.”
Djalma went silent.
For the first time since he had given Djalma the position of acting as his personal source of wisdom, Ian was forced to return to the place of his own insight. It was both powerful and painful to retake control of his direction. He too became quiet, trying to reclaim the energy, the will, to take charge. Ian accepted that what had begun as his respite from this responsibility had gotten out of hand.
After a few moments, Ian remembered Djalma’s offer of assistance. He was not
alone, and for that Ian was genuinely grateful.
“Is there anything I can do to repay your kindness, Djalma?”
“Call Liz and leave me a message—better yet, come by—after you see Katerina next. I would really like to see you again.”
Ian was both surprised and comforted.
Djalma finished their conversation by saying, “Ian, I’m not trying to intrude, but if I were you, when you see Katerina, I would not assume this new access will remain open forever. You two are too intertwined to take these opportunities casually. There is a purpose for this connection, and I would say a very important purpose considering the energy it takes to overcome the obstacles that generally disallow such cross-reality reunions.”