Unchain Your Heart – The Power of Venus Retrograde

Relationships are a focus this June, and not just because this is traditionally a time for weddings. Several astrological influences are bringing relationships up for rethinking, resetting and rebooting — and the greatest of these is the goddess of love.

What’s Going On

Until the 27th, Venus is in a condition called retrograde, an optical illusion that causes the planet to appear to be moving backward.  As with any other retrograde (Mercury is the most commonly known type), this one is taking us back over territory we’ve already covered and bringing dormant issues back into our lives.

Some of them are showing up in the form of people –past lovers, old friends, acquaintances who dropped off your radar eons ago. Financial matters and agreements are coming back around, too, as well as past jobs, skills we haven’t used in a while and long-slumbering issues of self-worth.  Combinations of all of these are parading through  our lives now, because Venus rules matters dear to our heart (people as well as possessions, values and cold, hard cash).

The state of your heart is up for reexamination. Is it getting what it values? How well do your outer arrangements line up with and deliver what you value? Does what you valued in the past hold true for you today? (Old loves are primed to trigger that one.) Questions like those are in the air all month long, and it’s to your benefit to face them and pursue answers.

This particular retrograde of Venus has strong currents of rethinking, communicating and grappling with commitment. Venus is in the sign of Gemini, on the axis of thought, talk and beliefs, which encourages stepping back, conversing without being overly emotional, exploring and welcoming options, and even playing the field.  The relationship review and rethinking that she’s stimulating is a subset of the revamping of our entire approach to life that’s part of the current eclipses.  (Those are the Gemini solar eclipse of May 20 and the lunar eclipse on June 4. Learn more about them in my Astro-Insight mooncasts and my article “Know Your Mind: the Potential of May’s Gemini Solar Eclipse.”)

The rethinking that Venus is prompting isn’t superficial (as much as Gemini loves to flit on surfaces) or momentary. We’re making realizations and decisions with long-term ramifications. Venus’ retrograde began with her making a beneficial link to stability-loving Saturn, the planet of consequences and commitment, and she’ll reach out to him again at the end of July. This is not the summer of free love and flings: this is the summer of sober, real-life connections that have value and appeal only if they have staying power.

In this atmosphere, Band-Aids, chewing gum and twine aren’t going to hold troubled relationships together. If that concept terrifies you, consider this:  Are you happy now? Wouldn’t you prefer to be happy? This month offers a route to that, if you are willing to open your mind.

The Way to Your Heart Is Through Your Mind

Here’s the lead-in to that route. It’s common to long for someone who has left you and wish life could go back to what it was.  I’ve been seeing a puzzling twist to this lately:  people who have put the brakes on a relationship because it wasn’t going where they wanted, and who come to me asking whether and when the other person is going to return.

What? Why would you want someone back who isn’t giving you what you need? Could it be that you are not accurately perceiving this person? Or accurately acknowledging and allowing your own needs? Could it be that this disconnect serves you in some way?

Your job and invitation this month is to become conscious of and reexamine your personal relationship rule book. As much as you can, take every relationship event, development, memory and ghost as information about you. Do not focus on the other person. For your purposes this month, the other person is simply a cosmic trigger. Do not try to figure out what the other person is up to, or feels about you, or intends. Do not waste your energy trying to understand what his or her issue is or what s/he needs to do or fix. Every time you catch yourself fixating on the other, turn the inquiry back to yourself: What does this say about me?

Your task is to become conscious of the rules you operate by, your beliefs, your expectations, your personal desires and values. Move out to the big picture, to concepts and qualities, without bringing any specific personalities into your evaluation. What’s your definition of friendship? What’s your definition of love?  How do you want to feel about yourself? What are you willing to give? To receive? What are your non-negotiables? This process isn’t going to take place only in your room and your head. There’ll be lots of opportunities to talk, chat, and hang out with all kinds of people. As you.  Everyone you interact with this month has information that will flesh out these questions.  Some of the answers will come in casual conversation. Others you may directly ask about.  As you explore your own rulebook, it will be easy to pry information from your companions about theirs. Really listen to what you hear. You’re getting a reality check. You’re getting verification of how compatible your rules are (or are not).

The interactions are a two-way street. Get clear on your own guidelines, and your encounters with the people around you can’t help but fall into place. Proceed from yourself and you will see much more distinctly and quickly who’s aligned with you — rather than attempting to shoehorn someone into your life that doesn’t really fit (or desperately clinging to someone who does not).

This approach will help unchain your heart from habit, from comfort that’s to your detriment, from rabbit holes and dead ends, from the stifling of your soul and, perhaps, even from pain. You’re setting up alliances for the long haul.  You have permission to choose them based on what your heart needs, values and cherishes. In fact, that’s your task.

More information about the belief-clearing properties of this eclipse cycle is in my 2 mp3 talk “It’s All In Your Mind: The Potential of the Gemini/Sagittarius Eclipses of 2010-2013.”