I Am My Own Soul Mate, Thank You!
You do not need someone to complete you. You can be your own soul mate!
Be Your Own Soul Mate
By Jaentra Gardener
On her last broadcast of the Oprah show, Oprah said something like, “You do not need someone to complete you. Jerry Maguire was only a movie.” Many of us are still looking for someone to complete us. This yearning for Mr. or Ms. Right lies deep within us.
When we cannot find someone, we buy things. Consumer culture breeds and depends on neediness to keep us buying goods. I think the problem lies within our soul structure. We were damaged to create neediness. Most of us do not know our soul mate, so in order to fill the void; we eat, buy, medicate, or overwork.
Neediness from a big picture perspective was necessary or we would not have embraced the suffering and pain to experience evolution. Suffering propels evolution. We wanted to learn evolution and then use that learning to increase the loving, positive emotions we feel. The fish yearns for legs and walking on land, which are the impetus years later for growing them. At the start of this human experiment, we knew we were brilliant and loving and decided to give up that power in order to create evolution. We imagined that we could grow the love greater and bigger. The fish growing legs was a part of our process. At least that is what I imagine the cosmic story to be. I am a healer and came up with these theories out of my experience. I help people release painful dynamics called diseases from their bodies. I found when I tried to heal someone of a potentially fatal disease and they were married to their soul mate, they died. When they were single or married to someone other than their soul mate, they survived.
The first soul mate couple I worked with I call Judy and Mike. Judy had an inoperable tumor on her hepatic artery. Mike had a bleeding ulcer. In three sessions Mike’s ulcer healed; no more pain or discomfort existed. After a few months, Judy’s tumor shrunk to the size of a grape. A year late Judy died, not of cancer, but of a bleeding ulcer. I have seen this sharing of physical dynamics occur again and again between soul mates.
I have also watched soul mates hold onto each other desperately, shutting out the rest of the world. They feel complete like they do not need anyone else. In reality, they stop growing. They cling and control and do whatever they can to limit other people’s access to their partner. They stagnate. Then the underlying damage begins to emerge.
“If you love me, you will die for me.” This is the unspoken dynamic in the collective consciousness between soul mates. Hollywood movies capture that in Robin Hood, Bodyguard, Tristan and Isolate, and others leading us to accept that true love involves suffering at least and putting our lives on the line at best. This damage lies deep within our cells, deep within our soul structure, which I call soul genetics.
For some soul mates this; “if you love me, you will die for me,” takes a dramatic turn of events resulting in suicide or homicide. For others, it is illness or accidents that seem to come. Being together is all that matters because each person reflects back to the other that someone loves just you.
In the last 20 years, we evolved beyond suffering and sacrifice as a way to prove how much we love someone. Before the Harmonic Convergence August 16 and 17, 1987 whether we knew our soul mate or not, our unseen energy field connecting us to our soul mate was structured like an hourglass. Our male soul mate or ‘split apart’ as Plato called it, connected to our female half. We were bound together sharing emotions, ideas, damage, gifts, and identity. No separation existed between our soul mate, and us, so we sought him or her to complete us, to make us feel whole.
In fact, we needed him or her as a mirror to reflect back our worthiness. Seeing our soul mate, feeling like we belonged to our other half felt like home because we were not whole. If we had to exist without being with our soul mate, we felt lost and heartsick. Full of shame, we knew something was deeply wrong with us. We also needed our soul mate to feel good self-esteem. Being lost and alone meant failure and the belief that something is wrong with me.
What if we could be free? What if we loved ourselves enough to be with whomever we chose? What if we could truly feel at home with ourselves when we are alone? What if merging with another meant we could still have boundaries and separation? What if we stopped feeling needy? OMG, Now it is time to let go of the old damage and remember who we were as whole and dynamic souls. Now is the time to reach for the power evolution brings us and realize that we are so precious and unique and necessary to the human experience that there is no one like us.
We are like a Snowflake, unique, beautiful, and wonderful. And because it is now time for us to remember who we are, a unique frequency of awakening is here to help us remember. I call that frequency ‘Snowflake’.
The time is now because the change happened. We stopped being one half of a damaged whole. We came home to ourselves. We are in balance with our self. We are alive in a new energy balance of being one with all beings. Amazing! We changed because change is what existence is all about these days, letting go, mentally, of a past that keeps us needy is the current challenge. We are used to being powerless and needy, but at the same time, our energy field does not support the structure of neediness. Neediness is no longer satisfying. Creation moved ahead and it is time for us to consciously join the evolutionary party the human race is throwing.
Now the shameful old reality is decaying while a new healthy reality is emerging. Since the Harmonic Convergence, we are changing. We reclaimed ourselves. Now is the time of remembering and creating the new reality. We are whole, unique, and powerful unto ourselves and now we have evolved.
We created a new crystalline energy body that can immerse or be one with anyone or anything and feel more intimacy, more love, and more joy than ever before.
Immersion is the new structuring energy between people that gives us the intimacy of soul mate love without the dependence or ownership. Soul mates said they belong to each other. Now through immersion people belong with each other. This belongs with is a choice based on mutually uplifting dynamics.
Immersion means I feel you, I get you, I empathize with you, I love you and I know how you feel the same about me. And through immersion, I know when you change and no longer care for me the same way.
Immersion is useful in job interviews, in pick up joints, between parents and children, among people in the same family, and peoples everywhere.
We are living in two worlds right now. The old soul mate love relationship that Hollywood glamorizes says we need someone else to mirror back to us that we are loveable enough to die for. The immersion world says we are whole within ourselves and can become one with whoever will multiply our chances to receive more love and joy. And we can experience this dynamic with many people.
What a powerful, amazing time to be alive! Some of you will be helped with your changes just by reading articles like this. Most people will change and not realize they have changed until they discover how happy they feel. Evolution is a force and we are caught in that force. Love is the name of this force and love is powerful.
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About the Author
For more interesting topics, listen in to Jaentra Gardener, Host of Healing Journeys Thursdays 8-10PM ET on A2Zen Radio www.a2zen.fm
Easy for Oprah to say we she’s got “Gail” and Stedman!
The problem with isolation is that sharing is a problem. When you share with yourself, the recursive nature of that action defeats the resonance that is available when two differing “poles” are engaged. You cannot “create” a potential if there is no “difference”. This is not to be confused with the self-ease associated with real autonomy. Whether you do it or accept that another is there for that purpose, that is up to you and you are satisfied either way.