Who Hears a Fat Lady Cry?

By Gail Trauco

When you stand 5 feet 5 inches tall and weigh 400 pounds, no one sees anything except a fat blob with feet. A “pretty face,” nice clothing, corporate success, and three adorable sons are the exterior armor of a lonely, unhappy, and miserable woman. You take care of everything for everyone except for yourself. A fulltime Nanny takes care of the boys basic needs, a landscaper manicures the home’s exterior, and a housekeeper cleans the house weekly.

You always smile, laugh and make jokes about anything and everything to “fit in.” It is physically impossible to “fit” into an airplane seat or booth in a restaurant. The family always asks for a table in restaurants so Mom can sit in a chair. Flight attendants yell down the aisle after they have made their boarding announcements, “Was it YOU that needed the seat belt extension?” Each time you smile and acknowledge YES it is for me – the seat at the table andthe seat belt extension. Constant stares and cruel remarks from strangers about your weight, the way your clothes fit, and the way you walk. Grunts and moans from people who dislike your “size” as you walk any place from the aisles at Wal-Mart to boarding an airplane.

Who hears a fat lady cry? All THEY see is a FAT LADY; A FAT LADY they do not know, personally or professionally. A nameless FAT LADY whose demographic status is “FAT LADY.”

No one sees or hears the internal tears of the FAT LADY as she looks around and already knows what each individual is thinking. It is very easy to read people’s faces and interpret their levels of disgust. On a puke-o-meter ranging from 0-500 – a FAT LADY tops the chart at 500! This FAT LADY became the professional “invisible woman.” I pretended NOT to hear comments, “See that FAT LADY over there. I went to high school with her.” I silently crawled by the staring, glaring general public with each step every single day.

Finally, my health alarm rang and my FAT LADY ass woke up! I was working on a clinical trial in Louisville, KY and a fellow nurse told me about the “lap-band.” “Gail, you need a lap band,” she pleaded! I scheduled an appointment with the Chief of Bariatric Surgery at Norton Hospital, Dr. Jeff Allen. My surgery was scheduled in early November 2001. All routine physical and psychological evaluations were completed. On a Friday morning I rolled into the OR and was greeted by Dr. Allen’s gentle smile. About an hour later I woke up in the recovery room, was moved to a floor, and was discharged on Saturday morning.

Eleven years have passed since my FAT LADY Alarm sounded. Weight loss for the first year was 100 pounds and I continued until I reached my goal of a size 8. The lap band is an “intellectual’s reminder” to daily monitor food intake. As a weekly business traveler, it is often difficult to ensure that all daily nutritional requirements are met. I take multivitamins as a supplement called “Risotriene.” Exercise is important and there is nothing I love more than horseback riding! I become very emotional as I watch the “puke-o-meter” gage measure disgust levels on people’s faces as “FAT PEOPLE” pass by. “Puke-o-meter” ratings are harsher on women than men. Our society is very harsh on women’s body image. It is no wonder that anorexia and bulimia are rampant among all age groups, especially young women. No plastic surgeon can repair the “heart scars” I personally carry from years of “puke-o-meter” ratings (“attacks”) from people.

“FAT” is being verbally disguised in society as obese and overweight. The fact is “FAT” is just what is says – “FAT.” No matter how you try to camouflage it – FAT is FAT. What do you do and how do you do it? The first step is for the “fat” individual to make a decision to proactively lose weight. Bariatric surgical options all require dietary modifications and implementation of an appropriate exercise program. You should and will require supervision of a licensed physician to ensure any concomitant medical conditions are appropriately monitored. Psychotherapy as deemed appropriate by your physician and your own personal needs works hand-in-hand with weight loss.

Compare your weight loss journey your to a caterpillar who emerges from the cocoon a beautiful butterfly. It is a daily challenge to incorporate exercise, proper nutrition, motherhood, and corporate America into my life. However, life is certainly happier when you can do the things you love – ride a horse, mow the grass, work in the garden, and keep up with my young adult sons! Choose life over FAT!