Guide to an EXTRAoridinary Marriage
by Nadia Khalil Bradley
In this day and age, marriage is increasingly looked at as a legal and financial agreement. It is a team that’s formed in order to raise children, own a home, and create a life together. Sometimes, a marriage is created out of a desire to extend pleasure indefinitely. However, people have increasingly come to think of pleasure as just a bodily release, rather than a sharing of a magical love together. And a marriage founded purely on pleasure is one founded on quicksand since having sex doesn’t create a love bond, it just creates a need for more physical satisfaction. Sex like this tarnishes our view of love. Sometimes it even makes us walk away from love. We would rather be alone than share a life with what at first looked like love but was simply physical enjoyment. Having sex without being in love is like eating foods that bear no nutrition; eventually, we will go searching for more foods to nourish our body or we’ll die. On the other hand, making love when love is actually present is what gives us the fuel to build a life together.
A real marriage is a bonding of a person to another. It’s a promise between two people who love each other and their Creator and with no one else. This promise is greater than that made under man’s laws. A true marital promise says “I am here before, with, beside and because of you. I am here because I love the concept of ‘us’. No one forced me to be here and no one is forcing me to stay. No one is telling me that I will lose all my money if I go, but I’ll be able to keep it if I stay. No one is forcing me to stay because we share children, or because we would have to sell our car and our home. We came together in love, and if we leave, we’ll leave in love.”
In a loving marriage, you do not become each other, nor do you tell each other what to do. You simply exist side by side in support of the other’s life as it affects your own and you share your experiences as you grow. Your lives were already there before you met, but they become even more magical because you’re able to share them with each other. Your partner grows you without forcing you to keep that growth only between yourselves. They don’t expect you to become “one” but instead understand that there are two of you living a life together. You share a home and a life, yet you can still survive with or without them – you just choose not to do so.
When you are in a marriage built on the foundations of love and understanding, your partner’s soul seems pure to you. You love them for coming into the relationship with integrity and making you realize the lack of integrity that existed in your previous relationships. You value a partner who is open to what life has to offer, lives it, and shares it with you. You admire how they fly like a bird and swim like a fish and yet still find time to tell you about it. You find that when you’re with them you are both constantly learning something new.
A marriage is meant to be a relationship where neither of you are victims. Neither of you carry baggage of what others have done to you and project it onto one another. You wish to build a life together and make each other’s lives better every day. You ask each other’s loved ones to watch over the two of you and make sure that you both remain pure to each other. You want for your loved one only what you want for yourself. You see their soul, not necessarily their body, yet you love the sincerity you feel in their eyes and they love the same about you. You become the screenwriter to their acting. They become the song that you sing. You both toggle between being the adventure and being the adventurer. And as you share your experiences, you take the time to really get to know one another. You experience the joy of being able to feel your love, even as it is still unfolding.
Marriage is not a union; it is a reunion of love. It ignites the love that is present and allows it to grow and to develop trust in it. Marriage is a promise that says, “Let’s see what life wants to show us and let’s travel down that road together”. It’s a petition to travel together, and during the journey you’ll see exactly why you were supposed to meet. You’ll find out what brought that person into your life and it helps you discover what it is that brought you to your journey on Earth.
About Nadia Khalil is the author of “Little Wing” and “Origins of Truth.” She is getting ready to release her latest book, “Original Love.”
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About Nadia Khalil is a teacher of accountability, growth and love. Through her books and writings she takes your soul on a journey of self discovery that will ultimately lead you to live in a state of utmost truth, love and purity. Visit Nadia at Nadiakhalil.com to learn more.
