Want A Devoted Friend for Life? Develop Fierce Kindness!

By Emma-Louise Elsey

There are many forms of kindness but my absolute favorite is Fierce Kindness. Once claimed, Fierce Kindness boosts our confidence, self-esteem, keeps us on track – and becomes our life-long friend.

What’s even better is that Fierce Kindness is simply a ‘thought muscle’. You just need to develop the muscle and it will support you, help you through tough times, hold you accountable to your goals, take care of you – and like a devoted friend – will never leave your side.

A great metaphor for Fierce Kindness is a rock that over the years gets thrown around by crashing waves, bashed and smoothed by sand. The resulting pebble is round, beautiful and both strong AND soft all at the same time.

Like that pebble, Fierce Kindness is compassionate and understanding but fights for us and what is right. Fierce Kindness faces struggle and pain but instead of getting angry or shutting down just keeps getting stronger. Fierce Kindness will do the hard thing because it’s best in the long run instead of avoiding the short-term pain by taking the shortcut.

Here Are 5 Examples Of How Fierce Kindness Works!

1. Your inner critic starts on you: Fierce Kindness says, “You again? Back off or you’ll have ME to deal with!”
2. You’re struggling to focus and get something done: Fierce Kindness says, “I know you would rather be somewhere else right now, so simply make a choice and either do it – or don’t do it!”
3. You’re afraid of doing something: Fierce Kindness says, “I’m here for you. You know what you need to do – and I know you can handle it!”
4. You’re feeling depressed, exhausted or hating yourself: Fierce Kindness says, “It’s OK sweetheart. I know it’s crappy but this will pass. You’re awesome and I love you. {HUG}.”
5. You’re about to skip out on your yoga class for the 3rd time: Fierce Kindness might say, “This is the 3rd time – go and keep your commitment to yourself – but I know you’re tired so why not go to the beginner’s class to make it a bit easier?” And yet Fierce Kindness is just as likely to say: “I know this is the 3rd time you’ve skipped out on your yoga class, but you’re exhausted. Stay home, have a hot bath and an early night – and NO TV. It’s bed for you!”

Fierce Kindness isn’t soft and mushy, but it never bullies you either. It’s never bitter, it doesn’t blame and it doesn’t feel self-pity – although it’s excellent at empathising when YOU feel those things. Fierce Kindness looks at the big picture, the long term, your values and goals as well as taking into account how YOU are doing. It is STRONG, WISE and COMPASSIONATE.

And the fabulous thing is we ALL have a FIERCE and KIND part of ourselves to connect to – a part of ourselves that loves and accepts us unconditionally.

For me, Fierce Kindness takes the form of a Lion – rather like Aslan in the Narnia stories. For others it may be a warrior goddess, a wolf, Mother Teresa, the Dalai Lama, an owl. Images are a great way to access feelings and emotions quickly – so it can really help to give your Fierce Kindness a form or symbol to remember it by. Just ponder for a moment. What would represent Fierce Kindness for YOU?

Top Tip: Next time you notice you’re feeling upset for whatever reason, take a few moments. Breathe deeply and look inside for your Fierce Kindness – imagine the image or symbol you chose – and listen to what it has to say to you.

In Summary: Fierce Kindess is an inner ally that helps you cope with ANYthing in life.We all have access to Fierce Kindness within ourselves – it’s simply a muscle that grows with use. Develop YOUR Fierce Kindness and you’ll have a devoted friend for life. Worth going for don’t you think?

“Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.” Theodore Isaac Rubin

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Emma-Louise Elsey is a life-coach and spiritual entrepreneur. As well as coaching and running workshops she likes to write and create coaching exercises and tools. Her latest passion is http://lifecoachonthego.com, your very own “Life Coach on the Go!” full of bite-sized tips and tools for people to coach themselves and create a life they love. She also runs http://www.thecoachingtoolscompany.com providing articles, tips and tools for coaches and therapists.

© Simplicity Life Coaching Ltd. 2012