Grace Lost and Found

By Mary Cook, M.A., R.A.S.

We are born of divine grace and promise.  Life on earth however, rarely supports this.  We feel flawed in response to mistreatment.  We think we are not whole when our needs and wants are not met.  We accept the model of life we hear about and see from others.  We define who we are from how significant others wish us to be.  We lose awareness of our unique greatness when our environment does not reflect this.  We lose intrinsic value and purpose when our energies are needed for basic psychological and physical survival.

All the while we feel a yearning for something far greater than our personal experience.  We search for it in our surroundings and find what is readily available.  We try people, hobbies, food, drugs, sex, gambling, and so on.  We receive temporary satisfaction and believe if we can only procure an endless supply, it will be sufficient.  Somehow the more we receive, the more we need and the more deficient, lost and broken we feel.  The inability to contain and understand this painful dynamic often breeds violence.  Whether verbal or physical, it fails to satisfy as well.  So we may try not feeling at all.  And again, we experience only temporary relief.  Sometimes at this point, death might seem attractive, if we believe that only it will relieve us of our pain.

We may however in this crisis, reach beyond what is familiar and enter treatment.  If we didn’t feel at rock bottom before treatment, treatment will eventually bring us to this state. For us to heal and grow, we must admit all that works against our health and happiness.  People, places and things that formerly allowed us to feign security and esteem are exposed, for all illusions prevent growth.

We see how sickness arises from feelings buried alive.  We see how destructive attacks on ourselves and others proceed from denial.  We see how our attempts to reduce conflict and obtain our own version of safety and security, resulted in escalated threats and danger.  We see how tiny our life is as a consequence of chronically contracting from pain.  We see that controlling our lives causes us to lose awe and wonder, how imposing dominion over others costs us our freedom within.  We see that petty reactiveness and dressed up defensiveness betrays our true nature.  We now understand that we were never flawed, deficient, inferior, lost, broken or alone.  These were our responses to hurtful and traumatic actions and attitudes.  They are not meant to define us and dictate our life.

Recovery affords us a new model of life and a new way of being.  Our mind fights it for it is unfamiliar.  We are afraid for it requires a conscious choice to be vulnerable.  We must surrender all defenses and walk back through the pain inside us and in our life.  We can only choose our highest path when we’ve heard and understood all parts of ourselves.  We are here to listen, not just with our ears, but with our hearts fully open.  We are here to act not from our mental patterns and habits alone, but from intuition and messages received through prayer and meditation.  We are here to understand and evolve, not solely by following the given earthly framework, but by seeking our soul’s purpose in life experiences.

We discover there was nothing wrong with our yearning for something far greater than our personal experience.  The problem was that we could not see it with our eyes because it was not material, but ethereal.  It is the magnitude of our Higher Power’s love for us.  We rediscover it deep inside us, upon clearing away false beliefs and misguided actions.

We don’t have to buy friendship or sex.  We don’t have to cheat, lie or deny.  We don’t have to put anything we cherish, including ourselves, in harm’s way.  We know that right actions and thinking lead us to friendship and love.  We know the whole truth is the only thing that frees us from bondage.  We know the difference between a healthy risk for spiritual growth and a plan for sabotage.  We deserve to walk the path of spiritual greatness and let go of all that hampers our way.  Our mind is an infant that accepts and adapts to life on earth.  Our soul is an elder that knows we are here to transform earthly experiences into grace and promise, of our own free will and effort.

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WWW.MARYCOOKMA.COM  Mary Cook is the author of “Grace Lost and Found: From Addictions and Compulsions to Satisfaction and Serenity”, available from Barnes & Noble, Amazon.com, etc.  She has 36 years of clinical practice and 29 years of university teaching experience.  She is a national speaker and has a private practice in San Pedro, CA.  Mary is available for telephone and office counseling, guided meditation, speaking engagements and in-service training.  Contact her at MaryCookMA@att.net and see website for further information.