Forgive and Forget?
By Dana Jacoviello
Forgiveness is hard for some people who have been through trauma or can’t find it inside to let go of who they must forgive or what they must forgive. Some find certain acts unjustifiable. Nothing you can do or say will make them change their mind. The problem with that is that forgiveness is often our duty. It is something we have to do for ourselves. We can’t just live our life in a constant state of anger. Anger is the worst emotion that we can keep inside of us. This usually all relates back to forgiveness. It is for our peace of mind, our soul, our body, and our heart.
What we think we can’t forgive, we truly can if we make the effort to do so. It is not always the easiest thing to do. We all can admit to that, but to cleanse our mental state we should. It doesn’t mean we have to forget what happened or bury it. It just means we are finally letting it go. Letting go and releasing our anger towards another is a step on a path to finding peace and happiness. Anger distracts us from obtaining that goal. Anger eats us up inside and make us do things we don’t want to do and often regret. We strain relationships, strain our lives, and our mind, body, and soul. In finally admitting forgiveness, it is even better if it is not just for our own well being. We should want those people to see it and feel it. We want to reach out and make peace.
In making peace, we can finally move on with our lives and go forward. In anger, you only go backwards and dwell. Anger takes you to a dark place that possibly ruins other areas of your life. It is so much easier to just release it. You will see that it creates change and positivity. The mind is a powerful thing and that is where anger resides. It can cause distress, anxiety, panic, depression, and other emotions that are so difficult to express and deal with. In forgiveness you are not saying it is ok that someone did you wrong or hurt you. You are just saying that you have finally let someone else take the reins to pass judgment. We can breathe easier this way. We can move on with our lives and take a path that is much more exceptional.
Don’t mistake forgiveness for weakness or saying something is acceptable. There is a fine line between the two. It is more about what we should do rather than what is required. It some eyes, forgiveness is required no matter what the deed may be. It really is based on beliefs, but remember one thing…forgiveness does not mean you have to necessarily be religious. It just means that you have grown. Forgiveness is not an easy task depending on the severity of the act, but it is always something to think about and consider. There is no time limit on forgiveness. It can be when we are ready to accept and trust in our own judgment. Our own judgment can always be clouded when we are a victim. The key is to not be a victim after a certain period of time. Sometimes forgiveness can sound harsh to certain people during times of great tragedy, but it doesn’t mean that we are condoning what someone did. It just means we are accepting it and living it. There is no escaping life or tribulations.
Life is full of forgiveness everyday in our family, friends, and loved ones. There is nobody that is exempt from forgiveness. Our first act is never perfect, but the second act has depth and purpose. That is what we should concentrate on. Life is full turmoil, but we should not runaway from it. We should embrace and hope for a better future. Hope is never out of reach. Forgive those that you hold to a standard that might exceed expectations. Forever forgive those who we do not understand. Some might explode at the thought of forgiveness, but it is never out of forgetfulness. It is out of acceptance and seeing clearly. We must see clearly to keep striving to move forward with our lives. Don’t stand still out of anger. Don’t stand still out of frustration or stress. Stand still out of letting your heart be free from ailments. Our hurt can destroy us so quickly. Forgiveness means truth and what we can’t see. It means setting our souls free.
We all have forgiveness within us. Whether you choose to go right or left is up to you, but the capacity is always there no matter how much we want to deny it due to our anger or disgust. Look deep. Don’t ignore it if you feel it. Just do it! Be it! Own it! We can always forget; however, that is never written in stone. Be the change that you want to be and be to others, or your children, or spouse, or loved ones. Find a quiet place and meditate with yourself. Seek the grace and glory in forgiveness and figure out the purpose. None of want to live in misery and disconnected because that is what forgiveness directly prevents.
It might take time, but all good things come in time. It can’t be done when it is not pure or you are not ready. Forgiveness can’t be faked because you feel the strain at some point. Nobody said it will be easy, but you do have to mean it. It doesn’t count if you don’t. The pain or scars might linger, but in forgiveness, they just might slowly to heal. Pain stops us from forgiving as well, and I do understand that some feel there are just some things that can’t be forgiven. That is not for us to decide. You either are willing to save yourself from living a life constant pride and fear or you can enjoy a healthy dose of humility. Many people believe that a person will have to answer at some point. It might not be on our time clock, but there will come a time. That is one thing we can be sure of. We don’t judge and get to name a punishment. There are entities for that.
Forgiveness is not meant to be a way out. It meant to be a way of saying you aren’t going to lie down and let it consume you. You will fight and stand strong. You will accept and have compassion even when you might not want too. You heart will understand. It is our sometimes keep us from taking that step.
No matter how harsh or how horrific it might seem…it is always ok to ask for forgiveness, receive it, and give it.
Be willing…
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