Illuminate the Committee in Your Head – Day 11
Stage one – you’re caught in a second-dart reaction and don’t even realize it: your partner forgets to bring milk home and you complain angrily without seeing that your reaction is over the top.
Stage two – you realize you’ve been hijacked by greed or hatred (in the broadest sense), but cannot help yourself: internally you’re squirming, but you can’t stop grumbling bitterly about the milk.
Stage three – some aspect of the reaction arises, but you don’t act it out: you feel irritated but remind yourself that your partner does a lot for you already and getting cranky will just make things worse.
Stage four – the reaction doesn’t even come up and sometimes you forget you ever had the issue: you understand there’s no milk, and you calmly figure out what to do now with your partner.”
Stage one is the reaction of a committee member. Stage two is the chair recognizing and naming the committee member, but not having the clarity to provide leadership or over-identifying with the committee member. Stage three is where the chair or “I” is centered and listening to multiple aspects of the self. And stage four is an illuminated committee in action.
