Illuminate the Committee in Your Head – Day 22
Illuminate the Committee in your Head Day 22
Identifying Contracts
You have been thinking in deal-making terms for a long time – but you may not realize that you were actually entering into contracts with yourself. These contracts hide as logical assumptions. Do any of these sound familiar?
-If I act right, others won’t judge me poorly.
-If I please others, I will have lots of friends and never be lonely.
-If I hide parts of myself, I can feel safe.
-If I make lots of money, I will be happy.
Today, see if you can identify one contract. What is one thing you want, and the action you believe you must do in order to get the thing you want? When is the first time you ever remember thinking about it? When was the first time it was ever an issue for you?
Here is an example. From the time Lori was a young child, she wanted to be a singer on stage and have everyone’s attention on her. When her continuous efforts at getting attention failed, she discovered quite by accident that pleasing others first sometimes resulted in their listening to her sing a song. She unwittingly adopted the belief that she could only perform when others needs were met first. As an adult she identified a pattern of self-sabatoge. Every time she had an audition, a potential big break, or other performance opportunity, inevitable someone in her life would have some crisis that seemed to become the priority. Only upon the identification of this pattern did Lori realize she had made a contract with herself long ago to meet others needs before performing. With new awareness she was able to re-negotiate, and re-write the contract.
