Living in Awareness – Day 10
I also began to understand something else that was profound for me. I realized you could only have one feeling at a time. It may appear that I was having more than one at a time, but I soon realized that the feelings may only be a nano-second apart from each other, but still very separate. I began to realize that I may have many thoughts on one situation, and each thought may created a different feeling because I may have different wants. For example: One issue or one situation could bring up fear and sadness. In the past, I may have given it the emotional name of helplessness. Also, in the past, I would have spent time trying to honor the sense of helplessness, and I would have wasted much time there, rather than getting to the root of it all. Once I understood that I had lumped two or more feelings together, and I also had to dissect them individually, because individually, they were attached to two different ‘wants,’ the process became easier. In other words, one situation may cause more than one thought, and each thought may have its own feeling attached. Each feeling appeared to hammer at me simultaneously, but once dissected, they were individual, and each feeling was telling me something different about myself and my desires.
Do not waste your time on the degree or intensity of the feeling, for it will only take you deeper into the chaos. Yes, there are many degrees or intensities of any given feeling; for example, a low degree of fear may be called worry or concern, and a high degree of fear may be called terror. Or, a low degree of sadness may be called gloom, whereas a high degree of sadness could be called despair. I could go on giving example of each feeling; however, it is more important to not focus on the degree as much as getting to the root of your feeling. The root of the feeling will help you uncover your desires about the situation. Remember, your feelings point you towards your wants or desires relating to the situation, so wasting time on your mind’s interpretation (emotion) is not going to help.
