Why is there a Gay Pride?
Editor’s Note: In light of the Supreme Court ruling on DOMA, this article on Gay Pride is even more timely.
by Vedam Clementi
Over the years I have been asked on numerous occasions, “Why is there a Gay Pride?” Is this just a reason for gay people to get together to have a big party?” Sometimes, even before I have a chance to answer, some will go on to say, “You don’t see us having a ‘straight pride!’” I know it is a changing world, and many of you would never ask this, but I still hear this at least once a year! So why do we celebrate Gay Pride, or more appropriately, LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, & Transgender) Pride? Why is June considered Gay Pride Month? I want to address it here publicly, first historically, and then personally.
Here in the US, LGBT Pride Month is celebrated in June to commemorate the “Stonewall Riots” that began in New York City on June 28, 1969. The Stonewall Riots were a series of spontaneous demonstrations by the gay community against police following a raid on the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar. Raids were commonplace, and involved harassing patrons, checking identification, arresting, and sometimes beating men in drag or women not dressed femininely enough. On this fateful night, things did not go as usual. Instead of tolerating the mistreatment, bar patrons fought back in spontaneously erupting riots. These riots are considered to be the movement that began today’s fight for equality for the gay and lesbian communities. These people likely did not realize what they were ultimately doing; for they were giving birth to a whole new movement, a demand for equality. They were simply fighting against the mistreatment and abuse, and they were fighting for survival. Even though I am not an advocate of fighting of any kind, I have also embraced the mentality of ‘don’t want none, don’t start none!’ so I understand these ancestors and their actions. I not only understand their actions, I am proud! I am proud of my ancestors that stood up before me, and I am proud to be part of a community that is unique, even as we are also part of the ONE! If you are interested, there is a tremendous amount of information available about these riots, and what they mean to the gay community, and society as a whole. But with that brief explanation of the origins of Gay Pride, I want to focus on what it means, politically, socially, and spiritually, to be gay in 2013, forty-four years after Stonewall.
I am an open, out, and proud 48 year old gay man living with my partner of eight years. We have what looks like a normal life, but we deal consistently with prejudices, judgments, and bigotry simply because we are gay. We live in the mountains of North Georgia, in the home where he was raised. We decided to move here from Atlanta to take care of his 84 year old mother. We both work from home, and we also garden, work in the yard, tend to our pets, work on our home, and do what we can to help when others in his family need us. Some of our relatives (on both sides) accept us, love us, truly care for us, and the feelings and actions are mutual. Other members of the families judge us, don’t understand us, don’t care for us, are rude or don’t even acknowledge us, and some are even fearful regarding our “salvation,” etc. Some don’t want their children around us because of God only knows what. From time to time, this behavior still annoys me, but most of the time, I take it with a grain of salt. I understand misunderstanding, I understand fear, and I understand the basis of judgment. I also understand that what someone thinks of me says more about the thinker than the subject matter being thought about, and I understand that what someone thinks of me is actually none of my business. When it is ‘dished out’ from an individual, I usually just shuck it off. However, this same misunderstanding, fear, and judgment expressed in the political and social contexts of our culture, is not so easily shucked off.
Living in Georgia, Nirish (my husbeloved) and I receive no legal recognition of our relationship, and that entails a lot more than just being recognized as ‘married’ or ‘partnered.’ I am self employed, and accept the responsibilities, benefits, and the pitfalls of that; however, if our relationship was recognized, I could have access to benefits that I cannot currently receive. Domestic partner benefits are not available through his employer. We have had to create legal documents just to ensure that one of us can care for the other, and make decisions for the other should one of us be hospitalized. Even with these documents, there is no guarantee they will be recognized without a legal battle. Simple matters like shared auto insurance require extra documentation and explanation. We deal routinely with issues and concerns that would not exist if our relationship was legally recognized. Legal recognition will not occur until there is political and social recognition of the validity of our relationship and others like it. That will not and cannot occur until the validity of our very existence is recognized. This is one reason why Gay Pride continues to have significance.
This leads me to my next point, the validity of our existence. We do exist, we are part of Existence, we are part of God’s creation. The God that I was introduced to as a child taught me that God created everything in its own image, and that it was perfect. Later, I was introduced to some contradictions that told me God thought gay people were an abomination of nature. I was told that being gay was a choice that I had to overcome if I wanted to spend eternity with my creator. Luckily, the first introduction to God stuck with me, and even though I had to look beyond the ‘second installment’ to stay connected with God, that too served a great purpose. First, it taught me to look beyond those original teachings, it taught me to look into other teachings. It even taught me to look beyond any teachings, and find my own truths. It taught me to have a relationship with God not through any teaching, or any doctrine, but to have an up close and personal relationship with God. For that I am truly grateful! However, I am getting ahead of myself…
One of the first teachings that introduced me to a different perspective of ‘God’s outlook’ on gay culture was Native American spirituality and worship. In these cultures, gay people were considered “Two-Spirits.” Two-Spirits was a common term referring to men or women that did not fulfill a specific gender role or appearance. In the Native American and Canadian First Tribe communities, these people were part of existence, and often were held in high regard within the communities, as well as being held high spiritually. Many of the Two-Spirits took the role within the communities as the midwives, the medicine men or women, shamans, artist, poets, and healers, foretellers of the future; not to mention, they would usually sit in counsel with the chief and his council. They were also considered to be the closest thing to God incarnated on Earth because they were male and female within one body. They were the visionaries of the tribe. This aspect of being a Two-Spirit was not just about sexuality or whether someone was gay, lesbian, or bisexual, it described a type of person that was created by God with certain aspects or qualities that other members did not have. These people were honored and revered by the tribe; however, history says that the ‘white people’ feared these people because they did not understand them, and they were often targeted first in the slaughters. Sound familiar? Somehow this rings a bell.
My eyes also began to open up as I began to study the ‘Natural Laws of the Universe.’ Natural Laws are the governing forces that create, and explain the systematic and organized structure, or methodology relating to physical life, and how it operates. Basically, the Natural Laws are the rules that govern the ‘game of life.’ Understanding these rules or laws can help you understand life, and they can help you, or show you how to play the game of life more consciously.
The first law I found was the ‘Law of One.’ The Law of One, in its essence, states ‘we are all one.’ All of creation is ultimately the same and is also interconnected. The ‘One’ appears to have divided itself simply to experience itself through its many manifestations and creations. This appearance of division can give the illusion of separation and differences.
The second law I found was the “Law of Balance.” This law states that the Universe operates and maintains itself through the Law of Balance. The Universe will do what it needs to do to maintain balance between all of its pieces and parts, and it will also counterbalance any impact so that life can be maintained and lovingly supported. This may not be obvious from our limited perspective, however, this law operates to govern the homeostasis of the Universe as a whole. The third law I found was “The Law of Polarity.” This Law states “within everything contains its opposite.” One aspect of a quality cannot be experienced without the existence of the opposing aspect. The fourth law was “The Law of Gender.”
The law states that there is a masculine and a feminine quality in everything, even though the outward appearance may be masculine or feminine. The masculine is considered the doer, and the feminine is the receptive/feeling/beingness of the quality. In a nutshell, if you were to take all four of these laws and apply them to the idea of differences regarding sexualities, spiritually speaking, if the Universe has ‘heterosexual,’ it would stand to reason that it would also have to have ‘homosexual.’ Yes, spiritually speaking, we have to exist; there is a purpose, a plan, a balancing act that does sustain, maintains, and lovingly supports all of us, whether gay or straight.
This is really not a question of gay or straight; this is about equality, and love. This is about each and every person, whether gay or straight, beginning to accept, nurture and love each other. This is about looking beyond stereotypes and lifestyles. This is about looking beyond our religious and societal conditionings, and beginning to stall tall and proud as your own personal expression of God and its creation, and in doing so, not making someone else lesser than in the process. So yes, I am proud. I am proud to be a gay man living with the man that I love, and making a life for ourselves. I am proud that I am part of the balance, part of the polarity. I am proud that I am a unique expression of God. I am proud that I am part of Existence, and that I exist!
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Vedam Clementi is a Spiritual Teacher, Life Coach, Meditation Coach, Author, and Lecturer. A full recovery from paralysis using spiritual concepts, meditation, and natural healthcare led to Vedam’s spiritual awakening and desire to share what he has learned. Vedam has taught fellow souls for over a decade to leave the past behind, plant seeds for their desired tomorrow, and to be present in each moment as they move through life. Vedam has a unique way of uniting psychological and spiritual tools that support the individual to relate to themselves, others, and life in a new way: openly, lovingly, and authentically.
