Relationships: Is It Just Two to Tango?

By Sunanda Sharma

Wow ! Two to tango…doesn’t it remind you of salsa. Perfect moves with perfect rhythm and great chemistry… Guessed what I am talking about? Hmmm indeed ‘salsa’ with ‘under currents’.

Hang on! Now don’t get ideas; here we are talking about the currents in a relationship…the perennial ebb and flow that every couple goes through. Here a couple is a metaphor per se for two individuals who are ‘karmically’ related. Now the relationship could be between a married couple, siblings, neighbours, friends, co-workers , teacher/student, the list is endless.

Why do we say “two to tango?”. Honestly don’t you all feel the dynamics of a relationship is more than just two to tango , there are a whole lot of other factors that come to play . So let’s discuss what exactly are these factors and how do they affect a relationship.

Let’s focus on the most not so …. ‘taken for granted’ relationship, i.e. between a married couple. We all know that when two individuals are blissfully wedded it is ideally based on mutual attraction, liking ,compatibility , trust, companionship etc. But does this ‘idealistic marriage’…really function and does it meet the happily ever after benchmark. Well ! not always the ending is so rosy, sometimes it ends up in a split.

Isn’t it a paradox that what appeared to be a ‘blissful paradise’…..turns so awry that the paradise becomes a ‘thar desert’…nobody can sustain in ….so what actually happened? These two individuals first met, there was a fatal attraction, they successfully courted each other and finally tied the ‘celestial knot’ or so to speak ‘happily married ever after’ or whatever the so called ever after turned out to be. What fitted in has now fizzled out. Hmmm not cool! So let’s analyze the ‘break up factors’.

1. Topping the list is this very, very common phenomenon…”you know what ? he/she takes me for granted ! What the heck! Earlier he/she used to shower me with so much love, appreciation….he/she adored me and now it doesn’t matter ……he/she doesn’t bother!”

For all the relationship hookies this must be a common occurrence….right!

So why is this ‘for granted BUG bites the duo’ …? Possibly few of the common reasons are …

1. Earlier since we could not meet so often, every meeting we cherished and made it special.
2. Now it’s mundane existence.
3. It’s same old stuff, sex is mechanical, feelings have been flung outside the window.
4. Almost hate each other!
5. He /She comes back home like a dead body just waiting to fall on the bed and sleep like mad.
6. Life is controlled by clock and chores rather than sex and foreplays.
7. Week ends are all about the shopping spree and stuffing the refrigerator with all possible groceries, vegetables, fruits to suffice for next week and catch on the much in demand sleep or if at all a flick….that too more like obliging each other with some essential mercy….”at least I took you out for a movie” !
8. Birthdays and Anniversaries end up like an ‘emotional war cry’. ‘Oh My God ! how could you forget my birthday! Are you the same creature I married ? God ! Anniversary forgotten; for Christ sake don’t tell me you don’t remember ! Gosh ! I am passing …..help! Next you will tell me ‘I don’t remember if you are my wife/husband’…….tears …..floods, earthquakes, volcanoes all seem to ‘jive’ together…’hell let loose !’……..

2. He/She criticizes me and gets defensive when I tell him/her so – now guys that’s definitely not done. You both are unique individuals and bound to have differences. Acceptance of each other with all the whims and fancies is all that is required. Instead of criticizing each other rather laugh out loud on the silly stuff, believe me it would work magic. A little laugh and a big hug is all that is required to re-ignite passion in your life.

Appreciate each other for the most little things, if it is her/his dress; new hairstyle; cooking, one word of genuine appreciation can do wonders.

Be a good listener. A lot can be resolved if we could just use our ears more than our mouth.

Respect each other; the most important thing to do. Never deprecate his/her self-esteem.

Always hold your spouse up ….he/she would really love you for that.

So people stop the ‘critic’ in you and be a ‘cheerleader’……!

If nothing works and you still feel this urge to ‘move on’ in life ….than just try this last dose of relationship restoration medicine…….

1. Just live separately for sometime, different homes possibly or different cities will be even better.

2. Indulge in hobbies you were not able to pursue with your ‘benign better half’…..just pamper yourself to the hilt. Just worship ‘YOU’….!

3. Do meditation or even better join a spiritual healing club

Healing self will heal your relationship with everyone else around.

4. Learn to give ‘gratitude’ for everything you have in your life.

5. Enjoy yourself !

6. Go for boating, rafting ….travel or read good books or whatever your style is.

7. Learn some new recipes, cook , sing …do whatever it takes…just chill!

See Also

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So what happens after this ‘mini vacation’ or last dose of relationship restoration medicine ? Well! you will feel rejuvenated and ready to ‘ignite the SPARK’ !

Wow! Does that sound neat ? yes indeed!

A new you has birthed …..so a new start…….fall in love all over again! Now that’s cool and immensely gratifying.

If any of you is going through a ‘pre break up’ stress …..call the bells …communicate to your partner to give you the required space , so maybe god willing you give him/her the much called for ‘Second Chance’ .

And last but not the least …what if ‘Nothing Works’ ?

Sad but don’t loose hope visit a ‘marriage counselor’ . This is your ‘make’ or ‘break’ time.

Decide henceforth, if counseling works …..cool ! Congratulations ! If not, than ‘JUST MOVE ON’ without wasting a second, life is precious there are many more soul-mates waiting out there, just GO….!

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Sunanda’ s Bio

Sunanda Sharma is a professional Tarot Card Reader, Psychic, Author and Life Coach .She is a member Elite Psyche Team – Best American Psychics 2013, Member of Certified Psychic Society 2013 , Winner Tarot Super Achievers Award 2012 India. She is a published author. She has written two books of Spiritual/Inspirational genre “Inspiration from the Spirit Volume I” and “Inspiration from the Spirit Volume II”. She is now a ‘Spiritual Healing Expert’ for OM TIMES 30 Day Challenge to ‘Renew your Soul’. Academically she is an MBA from Army Institute Of Management and Technology Delhi Ncr.You can reach her at www.sunandatarot.com. For relationship counseling write to her at sunandasharma2011@gmail.com or visit her site.