Are You Feeling Pressured?

by Dana Jacoviello

All of us from time to time in our lives feel pressured by another or a group to do things we might not want to do. This is inescapable; however, as adults we usually just pick up and move on without a second thought. It is not as simple when it comes to teenagers. When we were growing up we all wanted to be liked and fit it. There were all these cliques to choose from which probably did not define who were at that time. Many pretend to be someone they are not as a teenager for fear of judgments or being cast out. Being young should not be this difficult for anybody. As we grow up we should be laughing, having fun, and doing as much as we possibly can to live our lives before we become an adult and have real responsibilities. Instead of focusing on life, most are focused on how to make other people in their life happy. This can follow you into your adult life as well. You end up caring more about the happiness of those around you more than your own. Soon it becomes a way of life. Being in school or around your friends should not be a contest or something to be won. Being friends should be the easiest thing in the world. In saying that, friendships are not always as simple as they should be. Some come with requirements and rules to where you never know how to act or what to say. It can be compared to walking on eggshells. Friendships should not take up so much of our energy, but in some instances they just do. It is not always a bad thing, but not all of us are equipped for certain types of friendships.

When friends start to make you feel pressure to be liked or be around them or do something for them, this is when you need to reevaluate the people in your life. Being a teenager is hard enough without adding peer pressure to the mix. You quickly realize those who you thought had your back might actually not be there when you turn around. In some cases they actually will place the blame on you and give you excuse after excuse of why they did what they did. You begin to feel like an outsider who is taking all the risks while others are laughing, having a good time, and being a kid. They will tell you it is fun and you are in the cool crowd, but they are actually not doing anything but handing out orders and demands while you run around like a gopher. When you sit down to analyze your friendship you will see this.

Are you the one always getting something? Are you the one always speaking out? Are you the one who always gets in trouble? Are you the one who is doing most of the bullying? Are you the one that is always left behind? Are you the one they ask to take the fall? These are some of the questions that you can ask yourself when it comes to being a victim of peer pressure.

The supposed “cool crowd” might not always be the best option. Being free and happy is a better option. Be a teenager and enjoy it while you have it. Time goes by very fast, and the last thing you want to do is look back and realize you never lived those teen years. It is a choice. Live in fear or stand firm in who you are. There will be plenty of people who want to be around you for you and not what you can do for them. You will not be alone. Many are afraid of that happening or not being able to make new or different friends.

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Be friends with everybody. Don’t pick and choose who to be friends with based on characteristics, clothes, money, status, religion, etc. You will be surprised where you find some of the greatest friends you will ever have. It is always in the places we never look. Don’t choose a clique. Just be authentic in who you are no matter what faults or vices you have. Let people accept you. Being fake just to be part of something that is not real or not lasting is just going to end in the long run. You don’t want to be looking around for the people that you stopped being friends with because they didn’t fit into your new clique or life.

• Some things you can do to offset peer pressure:
• Have confidence in yourself
• Find new friends Walk away from a negative situation
• Seek out positive relationships
• Hang out with a crowd who doesn’t need you to prove yourself to be their friend
• Say NO!
• Have a strong support system
• Don’t be afraid to speak up or stand up for yourself
• Represent the type of friends you want in your life
• If you have to notify or confide in someone you trust then do so.
• It is really not that different than any bullying situation.
• A true friend will not and does not pressure you or place ultimatums on your plate.

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