Learning to Undo the Constricting Steps to the Dance of Life

By Pamela Astarte

A beautiful African American woman approached me the other day when I was “ecstatically” dancing. She asked me how long it had taken me to undo/unlearn the dance I had been taught so that I could move so freely.

I told her that I had never been taught how to dance, so that all my life I have been “undancing”, moving freely through space and loving it.

This interaction got me to thinking though about all of the unlearning that is necessary, the undoing of knots and constricted thinking we must go through in order to move, think, respond, enjoy, ourselves and each other without these constrictions.

So I am going to offer ways in which we can begin to UNDO what we have learned that no longer serves us, so that we may begin to dance and interact freely with ourselves and each other, at all levels, in all situations, everyday and everywhere.

Our intention here is simply to break free, to allow the free flow of energy without expectations of anything in return.

1) BREATH:

In the Huna tradition from Hawaii there is a beautiful meditation using breath called the HOO meditation. Breathing in on an E sound ( pronounced “ay” as in hay) and breath out saying HOO HOO HOO as rapidly as you can focusing on the outbreath until there is no breath left and take another deep breath on E and repeat HOO HOO HOO. Move, allow your body to release any pent up energy it may be holding, go ahead, dance all over the room, the house, the backyard, the street, HOO HOO HOO ing all the way. Stop when you feel done and notice how you are feeling. Do this as often as you like.

As with all of the exercises here, feel free to adapt them, use them as often or as little as feels right to you.

2) MOVEMENT:

ALONE: Put on music that suits your mood, just stand there for a while breathing it in, then try just moving one part of your anatomy, your toes, your elbow, your head, your eyes, your arms, let the music be your guide, no one is watching anyway. Then see if you can connect the movements. When your foot goes out there, see if your torso wants to follow, or your other leg, or an arm or both. Does your body want to go up, go down, spin? Let your body decide, not your head. See how that feels, see if you can just let the music guide you, not your head, never your head.

WITH OTHER or OTHERS: Notice how it feels to have someone else in the room with you as you explore how your body wants to move. I would suggest you not touch right away if you think that at some point you may want to go there. Let your body do what it wants, see how it feels if they imitate your movement, good, bad?? Move away, move smaller, bigger, just keep experimenting. Pay attention to them or ignore them, its all up to you. But notice how your energetic body is affected by other, this will tell you alot about how open you are right now to being with other in any relationship.

THE SENSES:

This is really what it is all about. We are so gifted on this planet with

SIGHT: How often do you really stop to look at a flower? You don’t need to know it is a gladiola or a dahlia, or that the pollen is how it procreates, just look. Take in all of the colors, the textures, the tapestry of imaginative design, the wonder that make your eyes tear with its beauty, from bud to withering death.

FOR LOVERS: Then really look at your beloved’s face, take in the pores, the glitter in their eyes, their crooked or straight teeth, the hair on their lip, tracing the outer ear, taking in each and every wrinkle, every crease. This is truly seeing other in all of their imperfect perfection.

SMELL: Walk into your home, walk into the kitchen, cut open a pear, an orange, an onion, bring it to your nose and breath in, really breath in. Subtle hints or pungent odors, all feed us, without smell everything tastes like cardboard. Our deepest memories are kept thanks to smell.

FOR LOVERS: Take your lover into the bathtub, smell their skin and gently begin to wash them using a soft natural sponge, use herbal soaps, smelling the skin and the soaps, the fresh smells of lavender, of mint, au natural. You decide!

HEARING: Listening to silence, notice the sounds of birds if you are in the country or in the city, notice the city sounds. We all take the natural sounds around us for granted. We’re so quick to plug them up with sounds that have been created for us: Ipods, earphones, radio, etc.. listen to the silence, then play your favorite music and just listen or listen to poetry, the sound of your children laughing, the wind in the trees, the bells and whistles of your daily life. Is it calming or deafening? See how these sounds affect you.

FOR LOVERS: As you listen to your beloved speak to you, don’t just take in their words, but the gentle nuances, the rhythm, the lilt, the tone, enjoy the music of their breath.

TASTE: Lick your own skin, taste your saliva, taste your own blood, taste your favorite ice cream, really slow down to take it. Taste all of the different tastes: Salty, sweet, bitter, bland….see if you can really taste it!

FOR LOVERS: Taste your beloved’s lips, lick their skin, their toes, their yonis or linghams, really taste them and tell them how they taste. Describe it with new words, new images, : You taste like banana pudding at sunset on a balcony in Belgium.

TOUCH: AHhh.. so lucky we are to have this amazing sense, and of course to touch is only half of the equation, to allow touch is the other half and just as important. As you reach out to touch your pet, caress them but them just let them rub up against you without responding. Allow the tree branch to reach out, the leather upholstery in your car to envelope you, the wooden bench to touch your bottom, the ice cream to melt all over your hands, the mud to ooze through your toes and the breath to leave the holding of your lungs.

FOR LOVERS: Touch only your beloved, gently caressing and allow them to take it in, slowly, selfishly, and have them return the favor. Be langourous, be patient, touch with no expectation of anything in return. Simply explore the other, the crevices, the bumps and muscle definition, the sweat and sweet skin of other.

ROLES:

Here is the RUB: We all define who we are, what we are by what we DO! Mother/Father, Husband/Wife/Girl/Boyfriend, worker, boss, support staff, artist, dancer, teacher, healer, you name it we have a defined role for it and here is the difficult dance because for so many of these the steps are so safely delineated, no space for innovation or movement. So let’s look at each one:

FAMILY ROLES: For each role the important thing to be aware of is :

Is there freedom of movement or is there constriction?

What works: LOVE, Caring, empathy, understanding, support, cooperation,

What doesn’t work: Obligation, bitterness, passivity, victimhood, anger, resentment ( time to undo steps to a very old dance)

What can you do???

1) PAY ATTENTION

2) SHARE YOUR FEELINGS

3) SENSE INTO YOUR BODY

4) OPEN YOUR HEART

5) MOVE YOUR ENERGY

and dance, dance like no one’s watching, dance together or apart, dance as if your life depended on it, because the undance is life itself, life living through you, through your heartbeat, your blood flow, your heart’s desire!

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To connect with Pamela, visit her website for more information: www.pamelaastarte.com