Learn to Let Go of Resentment
Letting go of resentment can seem like a really arduous task sometimes but in reality, it only requires a little rewiring of the brain.
Resentment
By Marcy Ellen
Letting go of resentment can seem like a really arduous task sometimes but in reality, it only requires a little rewiring of the brain. You must understand that we and all energy are connected. Energy is always being transferred between people so, in order for someone to display any sort of angry episodic outburst, that angry energy had to originate from somewhere. It didn’t originate from that person. They received it from some person or situation and now they must dispense it if they want to lessen the “pain load” that they are carrying. Of course, there are many healthier ways to lessen these pain loads such as therapy, exercise, meditation, etc. But unfortunately, we don’t always make the healthiest choices.
A huge part of letting go of resentment is recognizing that this perceived wronging that you are trying so hard to forgive, had absolutely NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. You are merely a catalyst for this person (reminding them of the hurt and anger they have received by way of someone else). “Hurt people, hurt people.” It’s a cycle. What goes in must come out.
If, for example, someone hurts you with their words you can stop the cycle right there by forgiving them. I do this through visualization. I know that this negative junk that this person just dished out on me did not originate with them. So I imagine scenarios where he or she could have picked it up. Maybe someone they love is sick and dying and they are overwhelmed with the fear of losing this person. Maybe they just found out their spouse is cheating on them. Maybe they were abused as a child and they just had a run-in with their abuser. Or maybe it is a simple as someone dishing their junk out on them. The point is we really don’t have the whole picture. If we did, if the universe could someone show us all the events that led up to the moment when this person hurt us then we not only would understand the situation but we would gain compassion for that person.
Remember the movie “Good Will Hunting”? In the case of the character Will Hunting, everyone that came across his path was a way by which he could release some of his own pain. Sometimes the repressed hurt is so deep and so vast that if the source of that pain is not unveiled it can take years to release.
We are always going to come in contact with people in pain who are looking for a way to release some of that pain. The key is not to absorb that negative energy and if you do don’t hold onto it by holding onto resentment. Let it go by imagining what the whole picture might look like. Then know that in order for them to let go of that much pain they must be holding on to a ton of pain themselves. Understanding how much pain they are in can give you compassion for them. Once compassion is felt, resentment falls by the wayside and you have ended the cycle of hurt.
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