Don’t Fear the Haters
There are Haters everywhere. Learn not to give them your energy.
Don’t Fear the Haters
In my creativity and empowerment group for women the other day, we were having a very interesting discussion about the fear of criticism. It turns out that many of the participants were afraid to put their artwork out into the public space because they didn’t feel they’d be able to tolerate the nasty criticism they might receive.
Of course, this fear isn’t limited to the people who attend my workshops. The wish to avoid criticism, especially for one’s creative output, is universal. I think that there’s a way around it, though. It’s a matter of understanding who these potential critics are.
There are always going to be people who just want to bash whatever we might say or do. If we take a minute to look at it, it’s clear that these are nasty, unhappy individuals who have nothing of value to offer us by way of feedback. We can recognize them for the cranks that they are and choose to discount what they’re saying to us or about us.
On the other hand, most people are well-meaning. If this type of individual gives us feedback, it will be done with kindness and tact, as their intention is to assist us, not put us on the defensive.
As I discussed with my group members, it’s easy to distinguish between useful and useless feedback. We can quickly recognize who are the haters, and simply ignore any feedback that sounds unnecessarily harsh, critical or humiliating.
In my own case, I never would have been able to publish my first book if I hadn’t made use of the very helpful comments from the writers, editors, and agents who read early drafts of the work. Fortunately, all of these individuals were motivated by the desire to help me produce better work and therefore the feedback they gave was respectful.
If you’re worried about putting your art out into the world, understanding the difference between genuine constructive criticism and hateful attacks can allay your fears. You never have to be concerned about the haters out there. Their hostility reveals them for what they are: not those who are ably discerning of quality work but rather, cruel, petty people looking for who they can insult next.
As soon as you realize that these critics are hateful, simply close your ears to them, and choose instead, to pay attention to feedback that’s given with kindness.
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About the Author
Marcia Sirota MD FRCP(C) is a board-certified psychiatrist, that does not ascribe to any one theoretical school. Rather, she has integrated her education and life experiences into a unique approach to the practice of psychotherapy. She considers herself a realist with a healthy measure of optimism. Sign up here for her free monthly wellness newsletter. Listen here to her latest podcast. mariasirotamd.com
Excellent! That’s exactly what I do!