Grasping and Healing

Grasping and Healing – Excerpt from The Five Tibetans Workshop: Tone Your Body and Transform Your Life

by Susan Westbrook

I am easily seduced by a nicely starched, button-up white shirt. There is something so lovely and alluring about it. I currently have such a shirt. I wore it to a family Easter luncheon. When I got home, I noticed a spot between the second and third buttons. I was disappointed by it. It was my favorite shirt. Now, it’s whiteness had been impaired by this spot of unknown origin or composition. I tried to get it out. But each time I pulled it out of the washer, the spot was still there. Every time I considered wearing it, I was aware of thinking that I would not be comfortable in it. People would notice its blemish. I would know the spot was there. I would be self-conscious. It’s pure whiteness had been sullied. While it really was a fairly light stain, in my mind it ruined the shirt.

I pondered the best way to describe “grasping” behaviors. It’s essential to be able to create a clear picture of what these behaviors represent. The easiest explanation is that grasping behaviors are derivations of the Buddhist concept of “delusion.” According to the Dalai Lama, delusions “are states of mind which … leave us disturbed, confused, or unhappy.” My Western sense-making mind has determined that delusions result from our need to control our environment or the outcome of our circumstances. They are us grasping at or trying to hold onto people or things or ideas. They impair our functioning in the world and our happiness by ultimately cutting us off from the love and compassion and connection we have been created to experience and share. How, exactly, do they do all that damage?